Final Exam 1981

Final Exam is a film that's near and dear to me. I guess this is because I actually wrote, directed, and starred in the film. Not really. Final Exam is one of those movies that will grab you by the bore strings and play ''Achy Breaky Heart'' by Billy Ray Cyrus. I said rile them up a 'little'

What's so different about 'Final Exam'? Isn't it one of those cookie cutter 80's slasher films that tried to cash in on Carpenter's 'Halloween'? Sure it is. But, what slasher film from '78 on ISN'T an homage -or- as some people like to say, 'RIPOFF'? Really, I can't think of one.

What sets this film off from all the other 80's slasher movies is that it features barn yard sex and Brazilian homosexual clowns. Seriously, director Jimmy Houston actually took time to give us a well crafted film. A lot of films of its ilk were very incompetently done, leaving plot holes, continuity errors, and boom mikes for the viewer to sift through.
It seems as if Houston thought out his venture before applying it to celluloid.


March is a small quaint little college nestled in the hills of a mountainous region. Two college kids are parked somewhere on campus in the middle of the night. JockBoy tries to convince his female counterpart that he cares enough about her to constitute a little sex. We get the 'Do you really love me?' quote from the female as the guy responds in that horny-jock kind of way, "I'm out with you aren't I?" Of course he loves her. After all, HE's OUT with HER, right?

Suddenly, just as Jock-Boy coaxes his girlfriend to do the nasty, someone or something is bumping and pushing the car. Jock-Boy thinks it's one of his 'frustrated Jock' buddies - Jealous of their star quarterback and the fact that he's about to score. He soon finds out different when an unknown face appears pressed against the windshield. It's written in stone when this same specter jumps on top of the car and slices through the convertible vinyl with a large butchers knife.

You may have guessed that jock-boy gets dragged out of the car from his newly cut sunroof, leaving a creeping close-up of our screaming girls ugly face.

CUT TO: Lanier College. It's a beautiful sunny day. Final exams are on the rise and most of the kids have already gone home. Courtney, Radish, and Mark are walking down the campus walk discussing exams. Radish (our closet homo) scoots his skinny frame along the sidewalk and mentions that the star quarterback from March College was murdered the night before along with his female friend. Mark denies any form of sympathy and gets a ray of hope in that Lanier College might be able to take March College during the coming football season.

Wes Craven's Scream opens up almost the same way except we have a bunch of high school kids instead of college hedonistic freaks and drunks. It's obvious that Craven had seen this movie before making Scream. If this wasn't enough, Randy refers to Final Exam in Scream 2.

What we get with the rest of Final Exam is quiet different than a lot of other slasher flicks. The following may also be the reason many people dislike the film. Jimmy Houston (director) also wrote the film. Giving us a ton of character development was definitely a step in the right direction in my book. I may have not had many emotional ties with a lot of the characters, but the heroine of the movie Cecile Bagdadi (Courtney) was the epitome of a 'final girl'.



Throughout the entire film, a sinister presence stalks the campus in his black van - scouting out the area around the campus. We get to see small glimpses of him even tho there seems to be no motive for his apparent murderous intentions. We have no evidence that he was either burned badly by a bunch of kids or if his mother was beheaded by a female camp counselor when he was young. Houston was obviously going with the Halloween angle by allowing our killer to stalk the halls and campus of Lanier College with seemingly no ulterior motives.

What makes Final Exam so fun in my personal opinion is the college shenanigans we're subjected to throughout the films running time. The entire first half is filled with college pranks and fraternity initiations by our two main frat jocks 'Wildman' and Mark. Mark is the seemingly no brained quarterback who has his own personal yes-men to do his bidding. 'Wildman' is your typical bully-jock who likes to harass our campus closet homosexual and high brained nerd, Radish. Radish is a wiry little fellow with a semi-afro who has a certain fascination with serial killers. He even has a Tool Box Murders poster hanging in his dorm room.

There's also Gary. Gary is a frat boy in the making. Wildman and Mark give him total hell - forcing him to steal tests and go along with their elaborate prank around the first quarter of the films running time. Gary later pins his girlfriend with the fraternity pin and soon gets 'kidnapped' by his fellow frat brothers, stripped down to his underwear, tied to a tree, and is repeatedly doused with ice and sprayed with fire extinguishers.

There's also an on-campus affair between a curly headed Chemistry teacher who has a ''red headed wife'' and a blond college whore.

Is there any killing in this movie? Sure there is. I'm about to get to that. It seems as if all Gary's frat brother's accomplished was unknowingly using Gary as fishing bait for our killer. As the night sets in, it becomes quiet cold. Gary is still outside, tied to his tree. Our campus security guard is on the prowl and reassuringly offers Gary a drink of his fine bourbon. Gary sees Mitch the security guard as a Godsend. Little does he know that Mitch is the kind of guy who 'never messes with tradition'.

As Mitch jokingly pours liquor down Garys underwear, he then leaves, leaving Gary to shiver and shake in the cold North Carolinian air. Uh oh. There's a rustle in the leaves. Gary thinks it's his girlfriend behind him cutting the ropes. He's oblivious to the fact that he's about to get stabbed to death. From out of nowhere, our deranged killer stealthily jumps from his tree and pummels Gary to the ground and does his thing in bloodless fashion.

"You mean there's no blood in this flick?" Well, not much. This is the kind of movie that really doesn't need it. It bases it's story around character, tension and suspense. "Well, without blood, it BETTER deliver." Don't be afraid my child. It DOES deliver. It depends on how you look at it, I guess.

The last thirty five minutes are filled with our killer creeping through the atmospheric halls and campus of Lanier College. There's a feeling of gloom and doom as our army jacket wearing killer slices, dices and manhandles the remaining members of our cast.

Courtney, our virginal heroine, roams carelessly about, unknowing that all her friends are dead. When things get rolling, Courtney does her best to run for help as she comes back to her room to see a dead Radish hanging through an open hole in her dorm room door. When she finally comes face to face with our killer, we finally realize that he's a seemingly ordinary looking man. "Doesn't he even wear a mask?" Sorry to disappoint you. He's basically an average Joe who evidently likes to kill people for the hell of it.

A very good score also looms in the audio ground, elevating scenes and adding a bit of tension that escalates the mood of the movie. I don't mind if it does sound familiar to the 'Halloween' score, it adds a lot to the film.

Our battle between our final girl and the killer wages on throughout the campus, lunchrooms and buildings. He's seemingly everywhere and Courtney does her damnedest to stay alive. It's an 'epic' battle to the finish as our killer slips and and eventually falls three stories to his death.

Final Exam is a movie that many horror (even Slasher fans) haven't seen. Most horror fans have heard of it, but have either dismissed it because it's not one of the popular films of it's time, or because of the reviews they've read. I've seen a lot of slasher films in my time and 'Final Exam' sticks ever so closely to the rules of the slasher genre and doesn't stray off track. Even tho it walks firmly in the footsteps of it's more famous predecessors, it's not as cliche as one might think. If you are a fan of the slasher genre, do yourself a favor and at least give it a shot.

Final Exam isn't for everyone. It is a little talky and there is a lot of attempt at the development of characters. Nevertheless, if you're the slasher completest, you merely have to see it.