The Prowler -aka- Rosemary's Killer 1981

Joseph Zito 'takes the path of least resistance' and delivers us something of an overrated plodding bug, but, we still mange to love it for all the right reasons. Of course, I'm speaking of Tom Savini's wonderful gore f/x. I guess Tom really did learn something in between fucking.

We start off in the early 40's with a girl named Rosemary who's writing a 'Dear John' letter to her boyfriend who happens to be away at war. Old Rose just can't seem to wait on him anymore and decides to cut his only lifeline, leaving him broken hearted. (Probably hoping he would incidently get caught in one of those 'blitzkreigs)

Well, the war ends. The good old boyfriend evidently survived, and is EXTREMELY angry. While the town holds a 'welcome home' party for the soldiers, 'mad Army man' finds 'backstabbing-bitch-girlfriend', and her 'Fuck him, I'll kill him too' lover making love outside in the dark. Of course, he does the only logical thing and shoves a pitchfork through the both of them.

Thirty-five years later, the same town is holding a party for a bunch of college graduates. I'll bet someone in an Army uniform (probably equipped with a pitchfork) will show up and pretend human bodies are hay.

All this sounds fairly good. And it is, but, it all happens within the first twenty minutes. The remainder of the movie features our two main leads (one who just so happpens to be named 'Rosemary'. hmmmm) plod around the area turning up clues as to who stalking the place. It really never elevates itself throughout the whole running time. It's kind of like a pair of pants that come half way down on your ass....you keep pulling them up, but they fall right back down, until eventually, they're around your ankles and everyone sees those zits on your ass. 'The Prowler' is what it is...one big zit that wants to pop, but there's just not enough pus in the corral to create the pressure.

All isn't lost. As I mentioned earlier, the f/x by Tom Savini are great. I wanted to like 'The Prowler' more than I do at this point. It has a sub-level of tension that barely allows you to stay awake through the film. It's painfully obvious who the killer is. Nevertheless, 'The Prowler' is one of those must see flicks if you're a fan of 70's-80's slashers. It's essential viewing. I think a lot of people have glamourized 'The Prowler' due to the special f/x - and the fact that it made the infamous Video Nasties list in the UK. Joseph Zito gave us a little more oomph with Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter in 1984, however.

So, what to do? Hell, don't as me.

Why, Cropsy? Why?

Wow, it's been over two months since my last post. I don't know why, really. I guess it could be described as lack of inspiration - but, I've managed to keep watching horror films and aimlessly waste my time in some way or another. So, in essence, nothing has changed.

The dog days of summer are haunching the legs of millions Americans - causing them to itch, whine, and bitch about how hot it is outside. It's the perfect weather to stay indoors and watch slasher movies. Imagine how Cropsy feels out there in that summer heat at Camp Blackfoot. The guy's smoldering anyway - ever since being the victim of a kids prank that left him charred from head to toe.




Old Cropsy can't seem to let things die, and his temper is hot. He's got a burning desire to get back at the kids who turned him into a roasted duck.(Not to be confused with Fulci's 'quacking' duck) The skin grafts at the hospital didn't take. No. No luck there. A proto-Freddy Kruger? Maybe?

C'mon, Cropsy! It's been five years since your accident. This group of kids had absolutely nothing to do with your little 'explosion' all those years back. Just leave 'em alone! I see there's no talking Cropsy out of sharpening his garden shears and stalking the camp once again. He knows Jason usually does the camp stalking, but he feels it necessary to prove a point.





Anyway, Cropsy kills. He does a little thing called the 'raft massacre' - Which is one of the most brutal scenes is slasher movie history. Tom Savini flaunts his stuff and catches another STD behind the scenes. There's George Costanza with hair, alongside the Fast Times At Ridgemont High nerd. There's a couple pairs of tits and a few asses. Yeah, we're doing good aren't we?

Great gore. Great score. Great atmosphere. Wonderful setting. Everything that makes a slasher movie a slasher movie. You can't call yourself George Costanza.