Lunchmeat's Bits and Pieces

The Prowler -aka- Rosemary's Killer 1981

2007-08-11T15:35:00.000-05:00

Joseph Zito 'takes the path of least resistance' and delivers us something of an overrated plodding bug, but, we still mange to love it for all the right reasons. Of course, I'm speaking of Tom Savini's wonderful gore f/x. I guess Tom really did learn something in between fucking.

We start off in the early 40's with a girl named Rosemary who's writing a 'Dear John' letter to her boyfriend who happens to be away at war. Old Rose just can't seem to wait on him anymore and decides to cut his only lifeline, leaving him broken hearted. (Probably hoping he would incidently get caught in one of those 'blitzkreigs)

Well, the war ends. The good old boyfriend evidently survived, and is EXTREMELY angry. While the town holds a 'welcome home' party for the soldiers, 'mad Army man' finds 'backstabbing-bitch-girlfriend', and her 'Fuck him, I'll kill him too' lover making love outside in the dark. Of course, he does the only logical thing and shoves a pitchfork through the both of them.

Thirty-five years later, the same town is holding a party for a bunch of college graduates. I'll bet someone in an Army uniform (probably equipped with a pitchfork) will show up and pretend human bodies are hay.

All this sounds fairly good. And it is, but, it all happens within the first twenty minutes. The remainder of the movie features our two main leads (one who just so happpens to be named 'Rosemary'. hmmmm) plod around the area turning up clues as to who stalking the place. It really never elevates itself throughout the whole running time. It's kind of like a pair of pants that come half way down on your ass....you keep pulling them up, but they fall right back down, until eventually, they're around your ankles and everyone sees those zits on your ass. 'The Prowler' is what it is...one big zit that wants to pop, but there's just not enough pus in the corral to create the pressure.

All isn't lost. As I mentioned earlier, the f/x by Tom Savini are great. I wanted to like 'The Prowler' more than I do at this point. It has a sub-level of tension that barely allows you to stay awake through the film. It's painfully obvious who the killer is. Nevertheless, 'The Prowler' is one of those must see flicks if you're a fan of 70's-80's slashers. It's essential viewing. I think a lot of people have glamourized 'The Prowler' due to the special f/x - and the fact that it made the infamous Video Nasties list in the UK. Joseph Zito gave us a little more oomph with Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter in 1984, however.

So, what to do? Hell, don't as me.

Why, Cropsy? Why?

2007-08-08T18:18:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been over two months since my last post. I don't know why, really. I guess it could be described as lack of inspiration - but, I've managed to keep watching horror films and aimlessly waste my time in some way or another. So, in essence, nothing has changed.

The dog days of summer are haunching the legs of millions Americans - causing them to itch, whine, and bitch about how hot it is outside. It's the perfect weather to stay indoors and watch slasher movies. Imagine how Cropsy feels out there in that summer heat at Camp Blackfoot. The guy's smoldering anyway - ever since being the victim of a kids prank that left him charred from head to toe.

Old Cropsy can't seem to let things die, and his temper is hot. He's got a burning desire to get back at the kids who turned him into a roasted duck.(Not to be confused with Fulci's 'quacking' duck) The skin grafts at the hospital didn't take. No. No luck there. A proto-Freddy Kruger? Maybe?

C'mon, Cropsy! It's been five years since your accident. This group of kids had absolutely nothing to do with your little 'explosion' all those years back. Just leave 'em alone! I see there's no talking Cropsy out of sharpening his garden shears and stalking the camp once again. He knows Jason usually does the camp stalking, but he feels it necessary to prove a point.

Anyway, Cropsy kills. He does a little thing called the 'raft massacre' - Which is one of the most brutal scenes is slasher movie history. Tom Savini flaunts his stuff and catches another STD behind the scenes. There's George Costanza with hair, alongside the Fast Times At Ridgemont High nerd. There's a couple pairs of tits and a few asses. Yeah, we're doing good aren't we?

Great gore. Great score. Great atmosphere. Wonderful setting. Everything that makes a slasher movie a slasher movie. You can't call yourself George Costanza.

R.I.P. BRUNO MATTEI

2007-05-28T15:12:00.000-05:00

As posted by the IMDB.

Bruno Mattei

Date of Birth

30 July 1931, Rome, Italy

Date of Death

21 May 2007, Ostia, Rome, Italy. (cancer)

Birth Name

Bruno Mattei

Mini Biography

Born in 1931, Bruno Mattei grew up in Rome, Italy where his father owned a small film editing studio. At age 20, Mattei started working odd jobs at his father's company as his assistant, then on to other small spots. Mattei wanted to follow in his father's footsteps as a film editor. Mattei found himself working as an editor for a number of directors whom included Roberto Bianchi Montero and Nick Nostro. Mattei claimed to have edited over 100 films in the 1960s and early 1970s.

After working with famed Spanish director Jess Franco, Mattei made his debut as a director with the drama, Armida, il dramma di una sposa (1970) under the alias Jordon B. Matthews. Mattei eventually had more pseudonyms then any working director in the world. He returned to editing before making another comeback in 1976 with two Nazi World War II exploitation films, Womens Camp 119 and SS Girls, both low-budget action dramas. Mattei followed this taboo-transgressing films with excursions into porno films and mondo "shockumentaries" all directed under his many pseudos. Concentrating on "shock value" with Mondo Erotico (1977), Libiodomania (1979) and Libidomania 2 (1980) to name a few. Always on the lookout for new exploitation, Mattei followed with "nunexploitation", with The True Story of the Nun of Monza (1980) a soft-core sex film, and The Other Hell (1980) a violent-sex thriller. Both of them involved a partnership with writer/director Claudio Fragasso who helped Mattei write and direct the back-to-back productions.

Starting under yet another alias, Vincent Dawn, Mattei directed _Virus (1981)_ (Hell of the Living Dead), a low-budged zombie horror picture inspired by other zombie cannibal movies such as Dawn of the Dead (1978) and Lucio Fulci's Zombie (1979) which was filmed in Spain with used jungle footage from New Guinea and a patch soundtrack from Goblins' Dawn of the Dead music, which was a minor hit in Italy and abroad.

After directing two women's prison films, starring Laura Gemser, Mattei moved to directing sword-and-sorcery flicks starting with _Seven Magnificent Gladiators, The (1983)_ . Both Mattei and Fragasso collaborated on the sci-fi/horror flick Rats - Notte di terrore (1984), inspired from the futuristic movies of the early 1980s which Mattei considers his best work despite working still with a low-budget. Mattei worked relentlessly through the 1980s with directing a pair of Spaghetti Westerns, some action flicks, and about half of Zombi 3 (1988) after Lucio Fulci was taken off production, though Mattei was not credited with directing it.

In the early 1990s, Mattei directed a series of erotic thrillers and a made-for-TV movie Cruel Jaws (1995) (TV) which was inspired by Steven Spielberg's own 1975 hit, 'Jaws'. Most recently, Mattei continues to direct with more than 50 Italian films to his credit. Though some people consider his films to be cheap, insipid, and technically inept from their low budgets and poor production values, Mattei remains an influential cult film director around the world for his radical filmmaking and willingness to direct anything new with any new taboo-breaking topic.

IMDb Mini Biography By:

Trivia

He is referred to in some circles as "The Italian Ed Wood" due to his constant usage of stock footage, soundtrack borrowing, bad acting and silly dialog within his productions.

Bruno Mattei is known for being a hack, but, true is true. The guy has given us a load full of cheese to ingest throughout his life. He will be missed.

TCM Interview (Paul Partain)

2007-05-24T20:41:00.000-05:00

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PAUL PARTAIN

About four years ago, I got a chance to ask Paul Partain (Franklin - TCM) a few questions. You can also find the interview on Justin Kerswell's great slasher site, Hysteria-Lives.co.uk. It's a shame we lost Paul to that dreaded 'C' word in 2005. He'll be greatly missed. I'm honored I got a chance to hear his thoughts about his role in one of the scariest films of all time.

Lunchmeat: First of all Mr. Partain, I wanna thank you for following through with the interview.

Paul: My pleasure.

Lunchmeat: Texas Chainsaw Massacre is probably on everybody's top 10 list. It is definitely in mine.

Paul: E network says TCM is the #1, most recognizable title in the world. Even more recognizable than Debbie Does Dallas or Gone With The Wind.

Lunchmeat: As funny as it may sound, when I mention the film TCM to people who have already seen it, they always seem to bring up your character instead of Leatherface.
That sounds funny? Can’t imagine why. Leatherface was a big goober who never uttered a word. He merely grunted once or twice, wore his costume well and mostly didn’t drop the chainsaw.

Lunchmeat: I know you probably have been asked this before, but can you maybe give us a little insight on how you were chosen for the part of Franklyn?

Paul: I am more than happy to tell you all I know about it. Quite simply, I auditioned and auditioned and auditioned. The very first I heard about the project was from a lady at Theatre Unlimited, a dinner theater in Austin where I spent most of my free time acting or working on any crew that would have me. I now know they were reading mostly to fill the Hitchhiker role and indeed, that is the role I went to audition for. Alan Danziger had worked with Tobe Hooper on his prior feature, Eggshells, and Alan was pretty solidly cast as Jerry before I got there. Marilyn had locked up the Sally role, Jim was on board for the Father (He’s just the cook) and that left the Hitchhiker, Kirk, Pam and Franklin. Deciding on Kirk and Pam, as I recall, seemed to go rather quickly. There were several good looking pairs of “university age” actors to pick from and in listening to the readings and seeing who was read over and over again it seemed to me that Bill and Terri had a good shot at getting their parts after the first audition. As I mentioned, I went to the audition to try for Hitchhiker (I was told they were looking for a weird and crazy kind of guy….I can be weird and crazy, so why not). Although I am, and was even at that tender age, the world’s greatest actor, Hitchhiker was not for me and I found myself reading the parts that fed the lines to the actors who were reading for Hitchhiker, mainly our buddy, Franklin. Now, at this time, I had no way of knowing that Tobe and Kim had a friend of theirs in mind to play Franklin and that the part was all but cast. As the auditions went on and on, I found myself growing into the Franklin role and understanding him more and more and I think that Tobe and Kim were liking the directions I was taking Franklin in the readings, so they kept asking me to come back. One day, they decided, and viola, there it is, Franklin was forever wedded to Paul Partain.

Lunchmeat: The thing that I love about 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is the gritty, docu-style approach in which it was filmed. Many of the scenes actually looked real. It seems as if I heard somewhere that you guys went through some pretty rough extremes to complete some portions of the film. I'm just curious....what were some of the most grueling moments during the filming of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'?

Paul: Grueling? Surely you jest. I am a native Texan. Born and bred in heat and sizzle of the Llano Estacato. I thrive on rolling around the state in 100degree temperatures in an unairconditoned econovan with seven other sweating persons, chewing on raw sausage because some twit of a production assistant didn’t know she was supposed to buy the cooked kind. Grueling? Nay. Hot, yes. Add thousands of watts of light to an already hot dry windless set filled with decaying chicken bones and other pleasant set decorations and you have Gonzo Film Making! Could have been worse. I could have been in Tobe’s shoes, hanging upside down from the rafters in all of that trying to get just the right camera angle. Or I could have been one of the crew members enduring the same stuff as the cast, but unable at times to even breathe, finding that the back side of the lights gets damned hot and you have to move them to set up for the next shot and even if they cool down to room ambient, they are still above 100 degrees. I digress… There is a good line from a Johnny Rodriguez song that goes “ …yea it’s hot down in Texas,..but I call this my home. If I ain’t happy here, I ain’t happy nowhere…” Note to all northerners…if you can’t stand the heat. stay the hell out of Texas.

Lunchmeat: Excuse me if this question is a little personal, but there is this little rumor that you and co-star Marilyn Burns (Sally Hardesty) didn't see eye to eye on some things during the making of the film. Can you maybe give us a little insight on this?

Paul: You should never listen to rumors. The two roles were written to have that sibling rivalry going on. When Marilyn and I were on the set we were working. There was not a lot of downtime and chances for interaction. I think you should go back to your source and question that information. Remember, the good guys and the bad guys were separated throughout the filming so if you heard a story about the bad guys from one of the good guys question it. Same goes for the bad guys spreading rumors about things they were never in a position to know anything about. Marilyn and I happen to be friends. We had worked together on a film the winter before Chainsaw. Be careful what rumors you choose to repeat. Big difference between actors being in character and staying in character and the personal interaction or lack thereof that may or may not be witnessed by an outsider. Anyway, Franklin, on the set was supposed to be a whiny bastard and that is exactly what Franklin was…Paul Partain ain’t like that.….phbttttttt! so there!

Lunchmeat: In my opinion you had some of the best 'dialog' from the film. I was just wondering, in your acting mode did you add lib any of your lines or were they originally written in the script?

Paul: Franklin was probably the most well written of all the characters. Personal opinion. We didn’t deviate from the script very much. Sometimes, once we had the scripted scene complete, we would get to improvise. The best example of that is the scene in the old “Franklin house” where Franklin has a heck of a time getting in and then looks up at the noise upstairs and then goes rolling around the downstairs in a snit. The first part of that was scripted. The remainder, Tobe and I made up as we went along . That is an actor’s definition of fun.

Lunchmeat: I am not quiet sure if you can give me the info I'm looking for, but it is obvious that "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' was filmed on a somewhat constrained budget. Would you have any idea how the money for TCM was raised and maybe give us some of the ages of the other cast members at the time of the shoot?
Paul: How the money was raised was not something I had anything to do with. There are some good pieces of reporting out there on the subject. I recommend you take a look at David Gregory’s TCM The Shocking Truth. I think he gets it right.

As to the ages of the cast members, OK, here goes: Jim Siedow was probably mid forties or so. Marilyn and Teri, well, womenfolk don’t always come right out with their age, but Marilyn was a college graduate plus a year or two, Teri was either a Junior or Senior at St. Edwards University. Bill and Alan were a couple of years out of UT. Gunnar was about the same age. Ed Neal had graduated and been into and out of the Army (ours). Grandpa John was 17. Everyone at the graveyard scene in the back of the pick-up is now dead, as is the cowboy who says “ I’m gonna steal your girl”, Jerry Green. Most of those folks at the graveyard came from the contact at Theatre Unlimited. Just remembered, Ed Neal had the lead there in the play Bell Book and Candle a few months before Chainsaw. Think I worked lights on that show, or perhaps I just played with the lighting director lady…the memory fades.

Lunchmeat: Tobe Hooper is one of my favorite directors.

Paul: Mine too.

Lunchmeat: What kind of experience was it to work with Tobe?

Paul: I found Tobe to be (I always wanted to start a sentence like that …..Tobe, to be) a most focused and enthusiastic individual. Tobe had the vision and he had the ability to transmit that vision to the people who got to implement the nuts and bolts of the filming. Quite a trick.

Lunchmeat: The scene involving Franklyn, Leatherface, and Sally as you get ousted in the wheel chair is classic. Can you maybe tell us how this scene was accomplished? It looked so realistic.

Paul: That it looked realistic is hats off to Tobe and the crew. The whole thing was orchestrated and choreographed to the nth detail. The chainsaw was disabled, the clutch was out. I tested this on Tobe’s finger prior to shooting. Good sport. ……..Let me get back there in that place. …. It was a night shoot. The temperature had dropped off to the mid nienties. First part of the night was Marilyn running through the mesquite trees. Dangerous thorns about an inch to two inches long and sharp as needles all along the branches of the mesquite. Skimpy clothing, not much protection at all. Disastrous results that left everyone feeling her very real pain and left Marilyn wishing she had been blessed with a more boyish figure when navigating the thorn breaks. The path that Marilyn and I were trying to maneuver the wheelchair through was truly a rough trail. It was a very real struggle to get that chair to move and of course Tobe milked the scene for all it was worth. Marilyn and I were truly working hard and getting frustrated and were thankful when we got to the part where we actually had some lines to say and then out of the darkness comes the sound of that big saw cranking up and then there is the most God awful sight you ever want to see, eleven foot twenty seven inches tall, leather apron, somebody else’s face for a mask and that damned smokin’ chainsaw coming right at you. I am an actor, and so is Ms. Burns, but we did not have to do a lot of acting at that point. Marilyn hooked ‘em to parts unknown and I screamed my ass off. The shot, the first time we saw Leatherface, was as close to real as we all could make it. Now when the close up came for old Franklin’s demise, that was a bunch of fun. The camera was looking over my left shoulder. Most of the lighting was coming from a “sun gun” flash light in my hand. The deal was that Leatherface was to come into the light with the saw and take a swipe at Franklin again and again. Dottie Pearl, our make up lady was squatted off camera on my left and Tobe was in the same position off camera on my right. We all three had a mouth-full of red Karo Syrup (blood) and every time Leatherface came into the light, we would spit. The result is that with each pass, the apron and saw gets more and more bloody. If you look really close you can see drops of blood in the air. Very effective. At the end, Tobe had a cup full of blood and he threw the contents . Said it could have been when they hit the heart… As I recall that scene was a lot of fun and everyone was laughing when it was done.

Lunchmeat: At the release of TCM in 1974, did you have any idea that it would become the cult Icon in horror entertainment that it has become today?

Paul: Absolutely not. When it was released, I was amazed first of all that it got released, and then that it was as good as it was. It was good but films just don’t live for thirty years and still have the same effect on people. Chainsaw does. To this day, people see Chainsaw for the first time and are blown away. Me too.

Lunchmeat: There are millions of horror fans in the world today. I would imagine that portraying such a character in such a famous landmarked horror film would lead to a following. Do people seem to recognize you when you go out in public as being Franklyn from that 'Chainsaw' movie?

It helps that I am not in my twenties any more. When I was in my thirties, I had dropped a hundred pounds, grown back my mustache and had a full beard all the time from 79 to 95. Didn’t look much like the guy in the wheel chair. Still, some folks would hear my voice or place the name and then not really know what to do with their newly acquired information. I enjoy going to Fan conventions these days.. Been to two so far and it is wonderful to see fans of all ages come up and tell me all about how and when and where they were when Chainsaw scared the pants off of them. Remember, the people walking around today being called Grandpa and Grandma were the first to appreciate Chainsaw or as Tobe says to “enjoy the buzzzzz”. Last year the local paper did an article about Chainsaw and one of the ladies from my church put the clipping on the choir room bulletin board. Can’t say the singers or the deacons look at me quite the same any more.

Lunchmeat: Do you by any chance remain in contact with any of the original cast members?
Paul: Not by chance, on purpose.

Lunchmeat: I was just curious, when you're not getting cut to bits by a guy with a chainsaw, just what does Mr. Partain do in his spare time? Any future projects?

Paul: Thank goodness I am staying busy. Working all the time. For the last thirty something years I have been in the electronics business. It has been very good to me but this summer it was just time to try something different. I now have a fledgling construction business which allows me the luxury of once again auditioning for movies when they come along and plays when I can spare the extreme amount of time required. I am loving it all. I recently had a very small part in Kevin Spacey’s new film and almost auditioned well enough to get into The Rookie (truth be told, I blew the audition at The Rookie. Director John Lee Hancock turned my interpretation of one character around and I just did not shift gears fast enough) That same guy, John Lee Hancock, is directing the new production of The Alamo now and if I can get the chance to get in front of him again I will have the most greased set of acting wheels he has ever seen. Once an actor, always an actor. It’s kind of a disease.
Lunchmeat: And last but not least....what are your 10 favorite horror films?

Paul: 10 favorite? OK Chainsaw has to be on top. Silence of the Lambs is in there (we’re kin by producers). I really enjoyed Hannibal and Red Dragon. Watching the old Godzilla flicks is still a hoot! The Thing scared the stuffing out of me when I rode my bike to the Palace Theater downtown Georgetown Texas. I have a broad band-pass when it comes to film. I really like it and there just aren’t a lot of films that I don’t like something about. I think that is the key. If you really enjoy film, you can have a ball at any theater in any genre. Especially film that is made with a passion, a vision. Tobe once said about Chainsaw, that he and Kim just wanted to do a horror film right. I think they succeeded beyond our wildest imagination. Enjoy the buzzzzzzzz! Paul Partain, Austin, Texas` December, twenty ought two.

Lunchmeat: Mr. Partain, it has been an honor for me and everyone else to conduct this interview. You have gave us all many hours of entertainment. I wish you and your family the best in life and always remember...'The Saw if Family'.

Lunch's new tattoo

2007-05-18T13:28:00.000-05:00

Well, it's not NEW, but it's not too old. What is it? Well, it's a demon head on a stick. Think 'mid evil'.

Canadian Slasher #4

2007-05-06T22:25:00.000-05:00

HUMONGOUS starts out during a party in 1946 where a woman is raped by a drunk sex freak who intends to show his victim ''what she's been missing''. One of her male counterparts opens the kennel and her German Shepherd's come to the rescue, tearing the guy to shreds. Sure, he deserved it.

We skip down the road about thirty odd years while Sandy, Eric (David Wallace), Nick (Nick Wild), Carla, and Joy are at the end of their week-end getaway at their father's lake front home. They finish cleaning everything up and enter their father's yacht for the ride back.

As nightfall sets in, the fog rolls and makes way for some hard navigating. They soon see a shot from a flare gun and try and navigate the large boat towards the distress signal. To make a long story short, they hit some rocks after Big brother and Little prick brother fight over who has the bigger dick and Ka-Boom! The boat blows to pieces sending the passengers on board flying off into the water.

Everyone is accounted for except for Carla, but she's found the next day hiding in a boat. In the mean time, some giant bohemeth lurks the island and is quiet hungry. It seems as if his only source of survival (His mother) has died and the little problem of starvation comes into play. The sound of dogs once echoed throughout the island, but now every thing's dead quiet. Did he get hungry?

Humongous. Humongous. What to make of you. Paul Lynch (Prom Night) seems to have forgotten the fact that night scenes need SOME lighting. The night scenes are so dark that it's damn near impossible to tell what's going on. This is a big hindrance to what otherwise could have been a good viewing experience. Don't get me wrong, HUMONGOUS isn't THAT bad, but it's not that damn good either.

There are a few decent stalk and slash sequences and when punk-ass baby brother Nick gets his, it'll make you jump. It's hard to believe the makers of Friday the 13th part 2 didn't sue Lynch for his downright copied and pasted ending that involves our stalked final girl turning her back and pretending to be the killer's mother. She sweet talks him a bit and the rest is the equivalent of taking a shit in a dry toilet. You know you gotta, but you don't wanna.

There's not much to write home about. This venture just proves tho show that Paul Lynch couldn't make a good slasher movie if it bit him in the ass and sang the theme song to My Bloody Valentine to him. I know there's some die hard Prom Night fans reading this, and I seriously don't mean any disrespect, but true is true. It's not that good. Neither is Humongous.

Those damn Canadians are too confusing. If you're in the mood for a violent version of Scooby Doo that's too hard to see, then pick up HUMONGOUS.

I Drink Your Blood 1970

2007-05-05T23:42:00.000-05:00

A band of Satanist hippies lead by Horace Bones roll into a town and begin terrorizing the local folk, raping a local girl after she sneaks in one of of their satanic rituals. Grandpa goes after the bunch of filthy hippies, but the hippies corner Grandpa, force feeding him a little LSD. His grandson doesn't take to highly by this and decides to get back at the hippies by feeding them meat pies infected with blood from a rabid dog. They turn into crazed lunatics and begin killing and/or infecting everything in their path.

Where to begin with this one. This is probably the most filthy grimy drive-in flick I've ever had the pleasure (or displeasure) of watching. I don't hate the film. The whole scenario is something that's made in a cheese factory, but the 'nastiness' of the film as a whole makes one want to take a shower after watching.

Bashkar (who was incidentally paralyzed not too long after I Drink Your Blood was made. He has since passed away) plays the ludicrous Horace Bones who's pretty much a man hell bent on power play using satanic rituals to brainwash his followers. They make their way into town and move into an abandoned house that's soon to be torn down anyway. The house is infested with rats and the group of hippies go from room to room impaling the rats on anything they could find, roasting them and eating them for a meal. Some nasty shit.

The scene where Grandpa comes home fried on LSD and hold kitchen utensils against his forehead constituting a set of horns is quiet humerous, but quiet disturbing once you shower off the layer of cheese.

Also known as Phobia, I Drink Your Blood had a pretty good run at the Drive-In back in the day and has since gained a small cult following. Is this film worth watching? Well, yes, if only once. The whole premise makes this one strange pile of dirt. This will definitely leave a layer of filth on ya folks.

Sure, go ahead and give it a whirl. OR, you could go outside and roll around in the dirt for a hour and a half and have the same experience.

Bloodstalkers (1979) on DVD

2007-05-05T00:57:00.000-05:00

Anyone ever seen this? Ever even heard of it? A horror movie about a group of tourists in Florida who are attacked by a chilling group of backwoods psychopaths?

This 1978 slasher film is better than it should be. This could very well be the granddaddy of the backwoods slasher film. Deliverance (by many) helped kick-start the 'crazy backwoods family' plot line, but Bloodstalkers did it even before Friday the 13th. Now, I'm referring mainly to the kill scenes and the setup thereof, as we have a number of death scenes that were copied in some Friday the 13th flicks.

It's safe to say that the director of Bloodstalkers (Robert W. Morgan) was influenced by Italian horror guru, Mario Bava, as a couple of scenes were downright copied from such films as Bay of Blood.

This post isn't meant to be a review, but a catalyst to spark your interests. The director himself is now offering a newly released dvd of Bloodstalkers - complete with a personal autograph and blurb of your choice. The film also has a few extras and comes with a copy of the day to day diary of the shoot compiled and written by director Robert W. Morgan. All for just $19.95 - and this includes shipping.

Here's a link to the main site where you can purchase or order the dvd.

http://dvddrive-in.com/reviews/a-d/bloodstalkerspromo.htm

John Friedrich (Zorich) is Alive And Well!

2007-05-04T14:42:00.000-05:00

Remember Zorich from The Final Terror? I did a post on him and what ever happened to John Friedrich sometime ago. Here's a cool article I've posted along with a recent pic of Friedrich.

If John Friedrich wants to revive a once-flourishing acting career, he's on his way. At the University of Hawaii Tuesday night, the youthful-looking 49-year-old attracted a crowd to analyze clips from his movies and unearth tidbits about major stars in the 1970s and early '80s. He hinted at his reasons for leaving Hollywood more than two decades ago and confessed his desire to return to what he considers "an unfinished chapter" in his life.

Sitting next to facilitator and UH professor Marc Moody and wearing gray slacks, a black shirt and the requisite lei, Friedrich shared behind-the-scenes stories about the acting process and working with some of Hollywood's biggest names in a stream-of-consciousness style that drew the audience from one anecdote to the next.

The peak of his career was the role of Frank Cleary in "The Thorn Birds" with Richard Chamberlain, Jean Simmons, Barbara Stanwyck and Rachel Ward. "'The Thorn Birds' was like you had finally gotten into the Ferrari," Friedrich recalled of the 1983 miniseries. "The level of acting was substantially higher. It's one of my great memories. Richard was one of the reasons I became an actor," he said of Chamberlain, whose work on the stage first inspired Friedrich.

The part had been offered to Friedrich's good friend Brad Davis, a household name at the time. "They were looking for a star, and I was not at that level yet," he said. But Davis ("Midnight Express") refused the plum role, insisting Friedrich would be better. The two had become close on the set of the iconic cop show "Baretta" and the movie "A Small Circle of Friends," Rob Cohen's ill-fated directorial debut.

Friedrich also recalled his brief time with Lana Turner and considered Stanwyck and Turner "a dying breed, just royalty. They really had a presence or a charisma that I haven't seen since. You can't not look at it."

An amusing story arose from the set of "Thank God It's Friday," about a dinner with Donna Summer. "So you sing disco songs?" he said to the mega-star at the time, who answered incredulously, "You really don't know who I am!" A friendship with Debra Winger also blossomed during that film. Later, Winger often called while shooting "Urban Cowboy," worried that nobody on the set liked her.

John Travolta traveled with an entourage even when he and Friedrich filmed "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble." But Friedrich said Travolta told his assistants to leave when it was time to shoot a scene, and focused intently "so that working with him was an absolute pleasure."

Friedrich got his start in 1975 at age 16 with Robert Blake on "Baretta." The rebellious teen left home the moment he started making a living as an actor. "My life took a 90-degree turn from that point," he said. "I got a good agent, and my ability to get work really took off."

Ambitions to attend Yale faded as offers flowed. He could go to college any time, his fellow actors told him. Consequently, he never went, something he still regrets. Had he attended college first, "I think my ability to last in the business would have been greatly enhanced."

When viewing clips from his movies in sequence, his range is especially evident in his ability to master accents totally unfamiliar to him.

For example: the role of Joey, an Italian kid from the Bronx, in "The Wanderers," a 1979 flop with Karen Allen that became a cult classic. Friedrich, a self-described kid from the San Fernando Valley, recalled that he'd never even visited New York City until he got the part.

"Those were just a terrifying first few days," he recalled, feeling sure the director would fire him. "I cried in the bathtub on many occasions."

Despite his impressive performance, shooting turned out to be a struggle. To make matters worse, the movie disappeared from theaters in about a month.

After "The Thorn Birds" and "The Final Terror" in 1983, he moved to New Mexico, met his wife and started a family, worked as a financial consultant and settled into what most people might call a normal life.

Gradually, evidence that he should consider reviving what he'd left behind began to emerge.

When "The Wanderers" was re-released on DVD two years ago, director Philip Kaufman publicly appealed to Friedrich to get in touch with him.

"Did I call him?" Friedrich asked the audience, laughing. "No!"

Asked what inspired such a dramatic departure, he answered, "Life happened." He indicated that his psychological state during a less-than-ideal youth was "tied to my ability to express myself as an actor; I came to the party because I liked the mask. This became more untenable as I matured."

But the fire never died. "I thought I could get the actor out of me, but I really couldn't," he said. Recently, he returned to the stage, playing the Donald Sutherland role in "Ordinary People" in an Albuquerque theater. About this time the unexpected letter from Moody arrived, inviting him to Hawaii.

"How do I reconnect with these talents and these gifts?" he asked rhetorically.

The first step, he's discovering, is to say yes.

It's good to know that John Friedrich is alive and well. I'm sure we'll be seeing him behind the camera soon. Probably talk shows first, then a return to acting.

Satan's Blade 1984

2007-05-02T14:08:00.000-05:00

Once in a while the cinematic guru's of the world will come across a film that forever changes their lives. Not really, but it may change the next few minutes, but soon enough, we're back to behaving like we're three instead of in our mid-twenties, breaking social ties one has had for years just because we can - Going into cursing tirades for no reason and taking it extra hard on your sparring partner in Jui Jitsu class.

The first time I heard of Satan's Blade was on the mighty Justin Kerswell's site, Hysteria-Lives! I read the review and realized it took place during a snowy setting and that was all she wrote. At the time, I thought the old ma and pa video store in the next town might have a copy. I thought I had remembered seeing it there.

I finally got around to visiting the video store and sure enough there it was in its big box glory. What a great cover. Of course, we all know that the home video market is full of gorgeous flicks on the outside, but when the truth finally sets us free, we're left sitting there feeling dirty and alone like after the hooker leaves and takes your wallet with her.

So, I picked up the flick and done a little shopping with my wife. We ate some greasy chicken McNugget's and it was off to pop the tape in the vcr. Right away, the screen turns red for a moment. In a split second afterwards, we see a glimpse of a man talking. It was almost like an interview. Then, the screen turns black and everything looks like a movie.

To get to the point, Satan's Blade had a profound affect on me. Sure, the movie is as low budget as you can get. I have no idea why the director shot on 35mm instead of 16mm. Like some of the cast members have stated, Scott Castillo Jr.(director) spent more time trying to look like a big time director than actually putting the money where it needed to be.

Reading reviews on this movie, you would think there were no fans who liked cheesy horror. Satan's Blade is more than cheesy horror tho. The acting sucks and there's not much of a storyline, but Satan's Blade is still a disturbing slasher flick.

We open with a wonderful twist bank robbery. It really threw me for a loop. The robbers make their way to a snowy resort in the hills where they hope to hide out for a while and meet their third partner. A double cross ensues and we set the cheese cycle in motion.

Of course, we have to have a bunch of horny females and two cute couples who just so happen to make their way to the same snowy resort. They enter the resort where there's an old woman at the front desk telling the legend of 'The Mountain Man'.

To cut to the chase, what sets Satan's Blade apart from other cheese-fests is that the director takes an ultra-serious approach to the stalk and slash sequences. There's a ton of Halloweenesque scenes that really hold up well when taking the movie in the right context.

The snowy landscape adds a ton of atmosphere. If the movie was set during the summer with a masked maniac on the loose, it wouldn't have had near the same effect. I've always been a big fan of a 'snowy slasher' and maybe this plays a big part in why I like the film so much, but like I said, there's a number of genuinely disturbing scenes that take place when the action starts.

The weapon of choice is obviously a knife, 'Satan's Blade' to be exact, and when the killer stabs his victims, the camera lingers steadily as the victim writhes in pain. It might sound like I'm giving this film more credit than it deserves. This is probably right, but when there's something good in a flick, there's no denying it. Aside from all the bad acting and straight forward camera-work, I actually turned the light on. I haven't did that with a flick in a long time.

While talking about Satan's Blade, one can't forget the piano score that's heard throughout the films running time. It's redundant, but alongside the location, the score is one of it's cornerstones.

One of the actresses in the film said that by the time the shoot was over, the film ended up costing around a million dollars. I'm not sure if this has been confirmed, but she also stated that a lot of money went into production no-no's. She stated that the director insisted on shooting in 35mm which by any standard shouldn't have been the way to go with a film of this caliber. Who knows, that may be the very thing that helps the movie out. The male lead said he never saw a dime. They weren't sure if the film had even been picked up by a distributor, not alone been released overseas.

Satan's Blade in an enigma wrapped up in a piece of ham and a depressing layer of mustard. You know there shouldn't be anything scary about it, but when scary scenes come about, it's just that more alluring.

In a nutshell - For the slasher completest, this is a must see. Whether you like it or not, you'll find one thing's for certain, every other film out there's no 'Satan's Blade'. A rare find for the rare mind.

Relative Fear 1994

2007-05-01T13:49:00.000-05:00

Relative Fear should have been more than it is.(Those whacky Canadians) The potential for this film was there, but I don't think there was enough time for director George Mihalka (My Bloody Valentine) to do what he needed to do. Either that, or it was edited to shreds.

An insane woman has a baby that immediately is taken away from her by the state. At the same time the Pratman family nurse their newbord baby in the hospital room as crazy asthmatic grandpa and eccentric grandma come to gawk.

Peter Pratman is quiet the geek. The mother, Linda Pratman is an aspiring pianist and all seems well. We go down the road about four years and we find out that Adam Pratman is autistic. The boy doesn't speak a word. They hire a tudor who claims to have experience in dealing with austistic children, with a seemingly good track record. Accidents seem to follow little Adam around as crazy asthmatic grandpa is suffocated when someone pulls the hose from his oxygen machine. Grandma is killed when a dumbwaiter falls full speed downward, crushing her head to a pulp. One of Adam's little friends gets shot in the head when the the little tyke decides to show Adam his new gun. It just so happened to be the same little boy who makes Adam eat dirt.

Anyway, natch, it looks bad on little Adam, but it's not long before a police detective suspects the father as he was the one who found all the bodies. After harrassing the family a bit, the detective gets itchy and decides to make his way over to the Pratman house unannounced. Everyone's outside, but Adam lets him in. The cop searches around the house, but soon steps on some strategically placed toys and breaks his neck in a very unconvincing stair roll. James Brolin should have went out better than that.

Nevertheless, aside from Brolin's untriumphant death, we're in for quiet the surprise when it's found out Adam was switched at birth and is the son of the crazy woman we see popping him out at the beginning.

The twist ending really hits you hard and your left with that wtf? feeling. A relatively good movie that could and should have been more. The only reason I picked it up in the first place was because it was a buck, secondly, it was directed by the same director who did my favorite slasher flick of all time.

Little Adam stole the show. The casting people deserve some props here. A creepy little fart. There was something disturbing about him and those dull brown eyes.

Am I glad I spent that buck? Sure. A movie that would be good on a lazy Sunday evening.

Canadian Slasher #3

2007-03-18T15:26:00.000-05:00

My Bloody Valentine 1981

I'm over a month late with this entry. I should have done a post on this during Valentine's week, but for some reason I didn't. I think I was in a moral crisis or some shit. Anyway, with slasher fans it's almost universal - My Bloody Valentine is the end all of the slasher film. It's agreed upon by almost everyone that this flick is as entertaining as it is broad. And we're willing to overlook Paramount's bad cut job when it comes to the slashing sequences.

My Bloody Valentine is a film that strikes a chord with me. It's set in a small dank mining town with your typical early 80's locals with bad wardrobes and even worse hair. [I'm skipping past the awesome opening sequence that involves what seems to be a sexually frustrated miner and his female counterpart.]

TJ's father owns the mines nestled beneath the ground of Valentine's Bluffs - That small dank mining town I mentioned earlier. A gray Canadian haze settles itself over the town like a blanket. TJ has since went out west and made his return upon really falling on his ass out there. He made so many mistakes and he wants Sarah back.

There's a slight problem because Sarah is now going out with TJ's best friend Axel. He explains to TJ that he went away - He didn't know where he was or when the hell he was coming back. TJ's reaction is that Axel is starting to sound like his old man and a nightly gathering at the junkyard almost turns into a scuffle.

In the meantime, the whole town is anticipating the first Valentines Day dance in 20 years. The reason there hasn't been a dance for so long is because twenty years ago, a man named Harry Warden went on a killing spree - murdering everyone responsible for leaving him and five other miners in the bowels of the mine without checking the methane level. The mine blew and here's Harry left all fucked up and eating the leg of one of his co-workers after being trapped underground for six weeks. All this just so happened on Valentine's Day and it was vowed by Harry that the same thing would happen if there was EVER another Valentine's Day dance.

Of course, the town sheriff still remembers the big mess twenty years ago and is still a little shell shocked in the pre-wake of the Valentine's dance. There's a local bartender who expels the legend of Harry Warden from his parched lips while the mining buddy cast play silly games with knives and make farting noises in light of all the bartender's serious hubbub.

There's a mood crasher when TJ's father gets a heart shaped box with a human heart in it. Without question the sheriff cancels the dance. The incident is kept quiet, but it's not long before Mabel (the dance organizer) is killed by a coal miner equipped with blue cover-alls, breathing apparatus and large pick ax. (Sort of reminiscent of Joe Zito's The Prowler)

The sheriff covers up Mabel's death [as well] after she's found stuffed in a running dryer at her laundry mat, burned to a crisp. The young cast of colorful characters are told Mabel died of a heart attack and become all sad at the cancellation of the dance, but TJ has a plan - He'll move the party to his father's mine! They'll have the party inside the rec-room! Of course, we all know at this point that Harry or someone will crash the party.

What comes next is some very good stalk 'n' slash sequences that for the most part take place inside a very atmospheric and gritty underground mine. The mine makes way for some really good scares and is a perfect place for a pick ax welding miner to hide in the nooks and cranny's thereof.

The tension between TJ and his 'best friend' Axel is halted for a bit when it's learned that someone has been killing off members of the party up top and underground. They both realize that Sarah and some others are trapped in the mine and that they better get there before Harry does.

For the first timer [who by chance hasn't read spoilers], there's a question of who the killer really is. Is it Harry Warden? There's some emphasis that the killer could be one of our main leads. There's some scenes that would give prelude to this thought throughout the whole film. It's up to the viewer to actually sift through the clues and figure it out for themselves.

Another saving grace for My Bloody Valentine are the high production values. A glossy look can sometimes hurt a film of slasher ilk, but the grimy mine overshadowed any Hollywood 'effect' it otherwise would have had on the film. The acting is quiet good to boot. Paul Kelman (TJ) is the dark haired mysterious type who could very well be hiding some sinister secrets. Neil Affleck (Axel - TJ's ex-best friend) is the blond haired blue eyed mixture of disgruntled manhood and empathy. Lori Hallier (Sarah) is the catalyst for our little love triangle amongst friends. She's a blond haired blue eyed, buxom blond who's torn between her first love TJ, and her rebound love Axel.

Axel is truly made a fool by TJ and Sarah. He's the fall guy for both TJ's and Saraha's riff between each other. Director George Mihalka takes John Beaird's script and does the best he can. It's a shame this movie didn't do all that well at the box office upon its initial release in 1981. This is truly a good film, even aside from the gore sequences lying on the cutting room floor.

If there was ever a war cry from slasher fans around the world, it's for an all out uncut collectors edition dvd packed with extras. Hell, if Texas Chainsaw Massacre II can get a release called the Gruesome Edition, My Bloody Valentine should be able. [I love TCM 2 btw.]

To sum it up, MBV is a film that can't be missed by slasher fans - even slasher fans of the Scream generation. Even younger fans should find something good in this Canadian slasher whether its shred to bits or not. An atmospheric upbeat slasher film that's never tedious and never boring. My Bloody Valentine is the epitome of what the slasher film should require.

Tell Tale Heart 1960

2007-03-13T16:52:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite cinematic take on Poe's wonderful story of the same name.

A mentally unstable librarian discovers that the woman he is infatuated with has dumped him for another man - His best friend. (No spoiler here) In a fit of rage, he murders his rival, burying the body under the floorboards in his home

The murder goes undetected, but Edgar can not silence the sound of the beating heart of his victim, which echoes louder and louder, driving him insane.

Lawrence Payne gives a masterpiece performance as 'Edgar' - The shy rich man who falls head over heels in love with Betty Clare - (Played gracefully by Adrienne Cori) - [a new girl in town who moves next door to Edgar] goes homicidal on his best friend Carl Loomis. (played by the debonair Dermot Walsh)

What makes this one different than all the rest is the acting and sheer fact that for such an early year, it has one of the darker elements of the lot. This is definitely worth picking up. The Alpha Video version (on dvd) is of decent quality that may have been tweaked a hair. It was released in 2004 and probably swings for about five bucks at a dollar bin somewhere.

Hider in the House

2007-03-13T15:34:00.000-05:00

He sees you. He hears you. He knows you. He lives with you. And you don't even know he's there.

A pre-bugged out Gary Busey is a resident psychopath, (Tom Sykes) in a very strange performance that will ultimately make you pull back the shower curtain before taking a piss. Not really, but I like Busey. I would however hide in the shower if I saw him coming towards me.

After his release from a state institution, Tom finds a cozy new place to call home: a secret place he builds in the attic of the Dryer family home. No, not Fred Dryers family. Hunter would have found him and let Dee Dee have a round or two with him with her golden vibrator.

Sykes definitely knows how to hide. As a child Tom would escape his parents violent outbursts and abuse by hiding in the most remote areas of the house - until he finally gets tired of being burned with cigarettes and torches down the house with them in it.

Now Julie and Phil Dryer (Mimi Rogers who's smokin' and Michael Mckean - better known as Lenny) have a new tenant in their newly built dream house. He's the creak when they think it's the wind. He's the noise they blame for the dad's awful farting problem. He's the rat in the attic.

By setting up an elaborate microphone system in the attic, he's able to hear every word they say. He knows more about the Dryer family than Fred Dryer knows about them. Tom is now part of the house and his obsession with Julie unleashes hidden demons trapped in a mind that's trapped in an attic.

Tom finally makes himself known to Julie after he finds Phil at a restaurant and sets up a plan to have her meet him at the same hotel he uses as a sex place with his mistress. After the fur flies and Phil gets caught in the act, Phil is told to leave. Tom strategically places himself in the middle of a schoolyard fight between Julie's son and some monkey-bar punk. Julie appreciates Tom stepping in and little by little, Tom starts to come around.

Things go a little hazy in Julie's eyes when Tom teaches her son some new defense techniques that involves viciously hurting one's opponent by means of nut blows, knees and elbows. Things are set in stone when finally, Tom shows how screwed up he his by almost refusing to take no for an answer in regards to a date with Julie.

The film as a whole deals loosely with the psychological aspect of a bad upbringing - Almost similar to a 1970's film called Bad Ronald - about a guy who lives in the walls of the house in which new tenants move in) Tom's arms are riddled with scars from cigarette burns. The conclusion of his visits to his shrink have him worried. He's afraid he'll 'loose control' again. The shrink talks nice, but isn't too keen on the notion of having him released. I wouldn't let Gary Busey roam the free world either. His teeth are too big.

What sets this movie off from the rest of the 'I'm crazy because I was abused as a kid' movies is the fact that at heart, Tom is a big old Teddy Bear. He really doesn't want to hurt anyone. His motives are pure in his own mind, but those damned old memories seem to trigger his rough temper. All he wants to do is lead an all American life equipped with a wife and kids. Tom actually is a character to be pitied. I truly never saw him as a villain until the finale.

There's not much slicing and dicing going on, but the movie as a whole has a few slasher undertones. I guess one could classify it as such. I classify Moon Pies as a great breakfast, so I don't really know.

One thing I do know is that a dog, an ill fated exterminator and Julie's friend get killed and buried. Another thing I know is that this movie is quiet entertaining. Busey gives a wonderful performance and really doesn't have to act too much because as we all know, Busey is crazy anyway. Roger's is smoking as usual and reminds me for the world of my beautiful wife.

If you're a fan of psychological horror films as well as slasher films, you can't go wrong. No masterpiece, but no pile of trash either. I'll admit - the scenario is quiet outlandish - Not many people would look over the fact that some crazy man is living in the attic, but it makes way for some good stuff on celluloid. By the way, this is/was a made for television film that debut on the USA network back in the day.

Bad Lieutenant 1992

2007-03-06T14:54:00.000-05:00

He has survived on the streets for twenty years. He's a gambler... a thief... a junkie ... a killer and a cop. Now he's investigating the most shocking case of his life, and as he moves closer to the truth, his self-destructive past is closing in. Harvey Keitel gives us a truly searing performance an an out of control police detective on a collision course with disaster.

First of all, Abel Ferrara is a hit or miss director. Either the viewer is turned on by what's on screen, or they're completely turned off. I have been a fan of Ferrara's for quiet some time now - Ever since seeing Driller Killer at age ten. The name Abel always struck a chord with me. Who knows? It could have been the biblical reference.

Bad Lieutenant is a film that one can't help but think comes from the inner depths of Abel Ferrara's soul. If one didn't know better, they would think the film as a whole is probably an analogy of his personal life... his inner demons.

While not a horror film (in general), this movie depicts the hidden horrors that seemingly good people keep locked away. It's a commentary of the mask wearers of society - Weak people in a body of someone having authority. When one thinks of an authoritative figure, we automatically think of a self willed leader - Someone who has it all together inside and out. We never see beneath the uniform or the tough persona, and take for granted that these people are always going to be our sociological pillars.

We very rarely see past the badges and the colors. We can look into these people's eyes and seemingly look past all the cries for help, until they're finally let out of the bag and we're left disappointed and out of hope. "How could THIS person do THAT?"

The Lieutenant (played wonderfully by Harvey Keitel) is a despicable person. He's a crack addict, a heroine fiend, an alcoholic and a sex freak. He steals batches of cocaine from crime scenes and sells it to the local drug pushers. He's a gambler. He owes tons of money to a bookie who's described to have killed families and babies, yet he still manages to bet against his cop buddies on the 1991 MLB playoffs.

Throughout the entire film, Ferrara gives us deeper glimpses into The Lieutenant's life of drugs, lust, and depravity. It's not long before we stop despising the cop and start feeling sorry for him. He's truly no different than a homeless junkie on the street. If not for the badge, that's exactly what the Lt. would have been.

Again, I'm going to jump back to some hidden personal views that's obviously been thrown in by Abel Ferrara in regards to his own life. First off, the drug depictions were right on the money. For someone to capture the gritty NY lifestyle accompanied by the dirty essence of sexual depravity, they would have had to experience at least some of it. "Yeah, yeah. A good director would do some studying."

I'm not saying Abel Ferrara is a drug addict alcoholic hooked on women and gambling, but I'm sticking with my story. There's an overlapping of Catholicism that adds an even more disturbing outlook when we have the raping of a nun in which the Lt. is assigned to the case.

The whole scenario allows the Lt's actions to be completely overshadowed, giving the viewer a little time to actually take the Lt.'s side when he questions the nun about how she could forgive her attackers for what they had done to her. She actually knows the name of her attackers but won't give their names to the police.

The religious angle seems to stick hard with Ferrara. Throughout a number of his films the Christianity angle has been exploited - either showing disdain and then redemption, or redemption then disdain. I think Bad Lieutenant reflects on a man's weaknesses and how an overhanging of the 'forgiveness' alignment can allow one to feel remorse through all the drugs and alcohol.

There's a scene depicting a hanging Jesus - being crucified as he screams in agony. We see him as a weak vessel, but in all actuality,(in Christianity) he's the Man in charge. It's kind of a reversal of The Lt.'s life. Here he is supposed to be the strong man in charge, yet he is so weak and despicable on the inside. We have the Jesus figure being pathetically weak on the outside, yet inhumanly strong willed on the inside. The two roads eventually meet when we realize that dying on the cross was Jesus' choice, just as the illogical sex games, drug use and gambling was the Lt.'s choice.

Throughout the film, The Lt. comments on the Catholic church calling it ''a racket''. Later on when the Lt. gets in too deep with the bookie, he enters the church in one of his drunken hazes. He calls out to Jesus and He appears. The Lt. crawls to his imagined Jesus figure. The figure stretches his arm almost mechanically the closer the Lt. crawls to him on the floor. He kisses the feet of the figure only to wake up and realize that it's the the feet of an old black woman.

In this epiphany he learns the identity of the two kids who raped the nun. In a sudden turn of forgiveness, he locates the two kids, smokes crack with them, gives them $30,000 and sends them away Scott free on a bus to an unknown destination stating their lives will ''never amount to shit in this town''- referring to NY.

It's a look at a sudden burst of redemption and self appointed righteousness. Throughout the entire film we never know the Lt's name. All he's addressed by is simply Lieutenant. He's stripped of an interpersonal identity, living life with what his outward appearance stands for - the badge, the suits. We also never learn the identity of the bookie the Lt. owes all the money to. He goes by the name Large which is also a symbolic gesture. LARGE, which is a metaphorical deity (in terms of the Lt. being at the mercy of him in regards to the large amount of money he owes him) seems to have the Lt's life in his hands. The Lt. hasn't paid up and who knows when he'll collect?

The Lieutenant's family seem to have no identity either. This is metaphorical in that the Lt. doesn't actually know his family. He has been involved with his cop lifestyle and moonlighting as a sex fiend and junkie for so long that he does the same as a typical drug user and gambling alcoholic. His mother lives with him (his ex-wife living in another home) but never speaks throughout the entire film. This is also a representation on the upbringing the Lieutenant had growing up as a child.

The ball game that we see throughout the entire running time is also somewhat of a miracle in itself - The Mets coming back after being THREE games down against the Dodgers is representative of a mini miracle. It's also metaphorical in that it's NY against NY. It's almost a simile on how NY is a city that is at odds with itself - everyone trying to beat each other - their own neighbors and friends. This could represent the eventual lack of faith not only with the games, but the Jesus in general.

What happens next one can pretty much estimate. This is certainly a film that can't be enjoyed by the subject matter. It's not a film that's pink a fluffy and round around the edges. I think one would have to have had some external form of experience with religion and addiction - whether sexual or alcohol and drugs, it would be hard to relate to this without experiencing one or the other. Rarely, a film will make me shudder at the thought of it or absolutely set me on the same shelf with it. Bad Lieutenant does the latter. (No, I'm not a raging alcoholic or heroine junky or sex freak. It's the religion thing)

A very depressing film with tons of metaphoric actions and camera-work. Abel Ferrara pulls the art house curtains, but opens them enough to let us peek through without them getting in the way. Not since Fulci's New York Ripper has the dirt of New York rubbed off on me and managed to stay for so long. Harvey Keitel's best performance as well as Ferrara's best. Not one to miss if you're a fan of emotional cinema. Masterpiece cinema.

The Unborn 1991

2007-03-01T18:51:00.000-05:00

Brad and Virginia (Brooke Adams) will do anything to have a baby. When a renowned infertility specialist, Dr. Meyerling (played by James Karen of ROTLD fame) finally helps them conceive, they think their troubles are behind them. The husband can finally relax and tell his friends he indeed isn't a blank-shooter, but a loaded .44 magnum instead. Well, maybe a .25 automatic.

Plagued by a variety of strange symptoms as her pregnancy progresses, Virginia learns that Dr. Myerling isn't an obstetrician; he's a genetic engineer. And he's now determined to 'breed' bigger, stronger, smarter babies. If it wasn't for breeding 'smarter' babies, I'd almost swear that Dr Myerling made Arnold Schwarzenegger - but Dr. Jack Kevorkian takes all the credit for that mess.

Virginia's desperate search for answers leads to the shocking revelation that not only isn't the baby hers, it's not human. It actually belongs to Micky Rourke.

In the tradition of the It's Alive! films and others like Rosemary's Baby, we have a carnivorous baby which ultimately eats its way from its mother's womb. The mother also suffers from severe symptoms during pregnancy and takes on a number of moody personalities.

The Unborn is your typical late 80's early 90's 'horror' flick. It does have a number of good scenes, but it could have done a little more. But, not only were some scenes downright disturbing, the film as a whole has a very uneasy atmosphere that helped me stay the course.

I'm not a true fan of films like this, but The Unborn did manage to keep my interest even tho I've seen the same thing a dozen times before. I also liked seeing James Karen in another serious role. I've always been a big fan of Karen and seeing his name on the box is the main reason I picked it up. He's the ONLY reason to watch Tobe Hooper's Invaders From Mars btw.

While definitely not one of best films ever, it's certainly not a bad one. In fact, it's well worth the buck rental. The director (Rodman Flender) did a good job with the visuals. The DP also did a good job Did it leave a lasting impression on me? Well, yes and no. A scene that involves Virginia picking her disposed creature-baby out of the local dumpster in a sudden turn of guilt after her underground abortion stuck with me. Not only this, but there's the opening scene that involves a pregnant woman seemingly eating bloody meat from the fridge in one of those 'I can eat a horse' binges. The husband seems to think all is fine. *It could have been sauce*

To sum it up, The Unborn will keep your head afloat even if it's just enough to breath. For all the blank-shooters out there (I'm not poking fun, I could very well be a blank-shooter myself), don't go to Dr. Myerling. Now, I haven't heard anything on the sequel, but I'll confess - I didn't even know there was a sequel to The Unborn. Hunting it down will give me something to do between griping. It evidently made a little money or there certainly wouldn't have been a sequel. All in all, check it out.

Class of Nuke em High

2007-02-26T18:21:00.000-05:00

Troma has put out some of the most wretched and vile cinematic 'entertainment' ever seen on film. Starting off with where the Toxic Avenger left off, we have a nuclear leak thats making its way into the local high school.

A group of ex-honor society students have been hideously transformed into drug crazed bikers with a pension for fowl language, rape, and violence. Shy young couples turn into lust crazed sex weasels. And a putrid, flesh-eating slime monster lurks in the basement. Just another day at Tromaville High!

Discipline soon crumbles, morals go out the window and mega-volt rock n roll maddness takes over the student body. As the hideous radioactive creature in the school's basement continues to grow, so does every immoral activity on the face of the earth.

This movie was a sign of the times then, but even more so today. As the threat of nuclear annihilation threatens our civilized societies, the children suffer the most. There's a general lack of hope for the world, which soon turns people into non-worrying individuals without a conscious.

The Class of Nuke Em High is nothing more but an outlandish commentary on nuclear power and the seemingly irresponsible ways it's used. I remember watching this flick as a kid. I was almost asleep when it came on, but years later, got the chance to watch it again. There's no story really. The mutated kids who were once A students run amuck and now sell radioactive weed that gives a hard on so big, it will destroy a house - It's responsible for a woman who becomes pregnant over night to some squid-like creature which eventually gets sucked down the sewer by a frantic flusher. There's your mutated 'good guy' who takes revenge on one of the goons by shoving his fist totally down his throat Just Before Dawn Style. There's Tweaked out female bikers who like to enter the boys bathroom and force them into oral sex and a good spanking. Teachers loosing their hair overnight. There's a white guy dressed and painted like someone from an African tribe that sports a bone through his nose. Kind of reminds me of a TBN Telethon.

It seems as if the main man behind the nuclear facility doesn't give a ''wet fart'' what the situation is and does away with a suggestion to shut down the school. He's afraid of all the bad publicity, but it doesn't matter that innocent children are going to be hiddeously transformed into rock n roll genetic freaks.

What can be said about this flick? Ludicrous, ridiculous, funny, disturbing, sick - Everything reminiscant of Lloyd Kaufman. If you have nothing better to do on a sunny saturday afternoon, grab a copy of Class of Nuke Em High. You'll feel funny for a day or two after, but one thing I've noticed about Troma films is that they definitely make an impression on you. Good or bad, it's an impression. I've yet to see part 2. I'm going to dig that up later. I hear it's better than the first.

Lloyd Kaufman is a man of very little taste. This film as well as all his other films should be a testimony to exactly how far he has dropped on the Class Meter.

Coincidence By The Cemetery

2007-02-21T18:47:00.000-05:00

I was watching Joyride the other day. (Paul Walker) I noticed that he and his brother's name are Lewis and Fuller. I never really paid any attention to this, but Louis Fuller was Lucio Fulci's American pseudonym. I thought that was a very cool hat tip to the Godfather of Gore. A lot of people haven't noticed this. The people who I've mentioned this to seem to think it's a coincidence.

2007-02-20T01:00:00.000-05:00

To start it off right, this film is one of the most vile and utter pieces of Italian trash to ever climb from the cesspool of Italian cinema. The cannibal genre is a mixed array of cinematic happenings that deal with a variety of different 'types' of cannibals - Cannibal Ferox just so happens to deal with the 'jungle cannibal'.

For instance, there's your back-woods cannibal types that are depicted in such films as Cannibal Campout, Lunch Meat, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There's your 'Brings back strange disease from the war' cannibals as depicted in Cannibal Apocalypse - Another Italian sleazefest made by the Italians and co-starring Cannibal Ferox star Giovanni Lombardo Radice and John Saxxon of all people. There's your Hannibal Lecter types - This type of cannibal is usually based on evidence from real police files. An usually articulate man with supreme taste, and an appetite for the grand. There's also your homosexual cannibals such as Jeffrey Dahmer - who ingests human flesh because they're lonely. I see no correlation between this well formed depravity and loneliness, but I'm sure there's some Freudian pseudo explanation that says there is.

Now, we refer back to the most popular form of 'the cannibal' - Your primitive jungle dwelling cannibal . Throughout the seventies and early 80's, there were two main players in the Jungle' cannibal genre that pretty much opened up a whole new can of worms, but also closed the lid some years later. Umberto Lenzi and Ruggero Deodato - Those two names should be synonymous with extreme violence, cinematic rapes, latex gut munching, but most sadistically, live animals being killed for 'shock value'. Both men claim that they never filmed any killing of live animals - and that the producers shot those scenes after their job as director was finished.Whatever the case may be, the slaughtering (or set-up of the harm or killing) of live animals for the purpose of shocking someone in a film is going too far if you ask me.

Cannibal Holocaust is probably most notorious in regards to scenes of torture and cinematic violence. But a lot of people disagree, saying they were most disturbed by Cannibal Ferox.

Ferox starts off in that typical Italian fashion. We have an Anthropology student who denies the fact that cannibalism ever existed. She's convinced that mad tales of flesh eating are just that - mad babbling folklore created by the civilized man to give the jungle a stark legacy.

Our story revolves around three NY college students who set out to the jungles of Columbia to disprove any talk of cannibalism or the practices thereof. Gloria (played by Lorainne De Salle of House on the Edge of the Park), Rudy, Gloria's brother (played by Brian Redford), and Patricia (Zera Kerowa of New York Ripper fame) get everything set and enters the outskirts of the jungle via off-road vehicle. Right away, things get off on the wrong foot as the jeep gets stuck and they're forced to foot their way through the wilds of Rio.

A few minutes later, the crew run into two small time New York drug dealers who just so happen to be lofting around the jungle floor when they're attacked by natives. Mike Logan (Giovanni Lombardo Radice - House on the Edge of the Park, Cannibal Apocalypse, The Gates of Hell, The Church) and his injured friend Joe, run into the crew and ask them for help.

Of course, the crew obliges. Little by little they learn of Mike's lust for cocaine and that there's more to he and Joe that meets the eye. It's soon learned why Mike and Joe are running from the natives. It seems as if Mike has a knack for violence - especially when fueled up on cocaine. The rape and murder of a native Indio girl by white outsiders doesn't go over to well with the villagers and it's a race through the jungle to find a way out. Not only this, but Mike is also responsible for torturing a Portuguese tribesman to death in search of emeralds. Mike's quiet the nice guy isn't he?

What follows are scenes of gratuitous violence accompanied by a sense of sexual depravity and drug induced paranoia. One by one, the crew are dispatched in some god-awful ways. To be honest, the gore sequences in the film aren't harsher than most gore films of its ilk. Where Cannibal Ferox steps foot into depravity (besides the torture and hinted rape) is the set up of actual on-screen animal killings which range from a gutted crocodile and turtle, to the feeding of a bound anteater to a very large python. If this isn't enough, we have a live pig which is gutted in bloody fashion by the cinematic hands of Mike Logan. As stated by Giovanni Lombardo Radice, a stagehand was given the job to actually slaughter the animal. He also states that during this scene, he tries to avenge the poor pig by pressing hard on a ceramic bowl that was to catch the blood - nearly severing the stagehand's wrist.

Cannibal Ferox is labeled one of the nastiest films of all time - and rightly so. An on-screen castration- Hooks through a woman's breasts - Hand severing - Decapitations - The rape and murder of innocent villagers - This film shouldn't be watched by anyone who is offended by such atrocious on-screen events. By this, I mean people who actually, eat, sleep and breathe.

It seems as the Italian cannibal genre grew older, the demonic imagination of filmmakers involved in the genre escalated to monstrous heights. Earlier films like Umbero Lenzi's Eaten Alive! (which uses the same music for Cannibal Ferox) also depicts scenes of animal cruelty and gang rapes, but the film as a whole isn't nearly as brutal as Cannibal Ferox. Jungle Holocaust, an earlier cannibal entry by Rugerro Deodato, is actually more of an adventure film than just a bunch of shock sequences strewn together. Personally, the adventure theme should have been the main attraction to these types of films. The jungle setting makes way for some good action sequences.

Going back to the topic of discussion, Giovanni Lombardo Radice stated to me in an interview that he regretted ever starring in Cannibal Ferox. He says that it has haunted him for twenty-five years. Being remembered as Mike Logan is a huge disappointment for Giovanni. To tell you the truth, I can't blame the guy for feeling this way. But, didn't he read the script beforehand?

To sum it up, Cannibal Ferox is a film that should be viewed at least once just to see that everything you've heard has been true. Very few films live up to their legend status, but this is one of those exceptions. I have no idea how anyone could possibly enjoy the movie. To tell you the truth, I think that anyone who even considers such a film 'fun entertainment' should be checked for mental incapabilities.

*This film boasts at being banned in 31 countries - not only on the movies cover, but also in the Guinness Book of World Records. I think Umberto Lenzi should be banned and maimed - and gutted like the animals in his films. I have no idea what the international rules were/are for the killing of animals for the sake of entertainment, but I'm sure there was hot water to follow. It's hard to imagine such a film being made today. PETA would have a field day.

When There's No More Thread In Hell.....

2007-02-14T17:40:00.000-05:00

"I don't want to be threading around like THAT!"

A Day With Keith Richards

2007-02-12T16:41:00.000-05:00

Sometime ago, I got the chance to sit down with Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones. Not until talking with him did I realize that Keith actually died in the early 80's, but has duped the public into believing he's still alive and kicking. Keith was gracious enough to allow Lunchmeat's Bits and Pieces the opportunity to snap a few pictures. An extensive interview was unproductive because Keith's tongue kept falling off. Tom Savini was on vacation so there was no one available to apply a new prosthetic tongue. I was able to decipher a few of his words, but most of them sounded like 'Heroine'

Above is a picture of Keith's 'photo head' as he jokingly refers to it as. Mr Richards uses his spare head now and again especially for concerts and photo shoots. It's simply made of rubber, painted to look like Keith when he was forty and shoved down his neck with a stick. The whole process takes less than three minutes.

We didn't take the above pic. It was donated to us by Keith himself for our portfolio.

We had no idea the picture was over thirty years old. Since Mr Richards face isn't able to move due to the deterioration of the nerves, his personal assistant taped his lips upward as to constitute something of a smile. The tape is barely visible. *This was the same photo Keith sent Bob Clark as a casting pic for the role of Orville in 'Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things'. Since Keith was constantly hooked to a life support machine throughout the seventies, he was unable to play the role without all the machinery getting in the way. Besides, who buries someone who's still attached to a life support machine?*

Above is a picture that was taken before Mr Richards had his daily fix. Since his heart doesn't beat anymore, main-lining heroine just isn't productive. Now, he has to have it injected rectally. As you can see, Keith doesn't look too happy about it.

Above is the last picture that Lunchmeat's Bits and Pieces was able to get before Keith had his puppeteer marionette him down the hallway. This was directly after Keith learned of a tractor trailer full of heroine waiting outside the studio. Since Keith was so elated and unable to show emotion, he personally asked his personal assistant to tape on a smile. Keith looks pretty happy doesn't he?

Muse Watson INTERVIEW

2007-02-08T17:45:00.000-05:00

In 1996, Wes Craven re generated the slasher genre with his ultra contemporary SCREAM. Honestly, I love the movie. It's an all around entertaining movie. Surely, with the success of SCREAM, imitations and imitators were bound to rear their bloody stumps. I'm sure that the film I Know What You Did Last Summer needs no introduction. A hook welding maniac stalks a bunch of teens after they run over a guy. Sounds good. Sue me, but I enjoyed this flick too.

2003 was a great year for me in regards to interviews. I was able to get in touch with Muse Watson. His role as Ben Willis (our hooked killer) has become a contemporary cultural icon no matter how much one dislikes the series. Anyway, below is the interview I conducted with Muse about four years ago.

Lunchmeat: I'm going to cut right to the chase. How
 did you hear about the
part of 'Hook Man', Ben Willis?


Muse Watson: I actually got a call from my agent
saying that they were having  trouble finding a Ben.
I was asked to come to the casting office and read  
the role on tape to be sent to the director who was
allready in North
Carolina on location. 
I thought it was a great role. 
Here was a man who  was a loving father who
becomes crazy after his daughter is killed in 
an accident.  Of course, after arriving on set,
the loving father part  got diminished.  But when I
first read it...I thought it was well written and a great character.

Lunchmeat: What kinds of things did you do, behind the
scenes, to get in shape for your role as everyone's
favorite 'Hooked Maniac'?

Muse Watson: Well, I studied each movement like Tai Chi,
because I thought of Ben as  a man who was methodical
and smooth.  I took the Hook home with me and  became
very accomplished and accurate.  I could spin it in the
air four  revolutions and catch it in a back-hand.  A move
that one of the  producers thought should have been included
in the film.  I could also take  every leaf off of a bush one
at a time with out touching the other  leaves.  Ben's movement
was very important to me.
Because he was not  revealed til the end,
it was very important to me for the audience to
feel  his presence and know his ominous nature.

Lunchmeat: What's your thoughts on being considered
 somewhat of a horror movie 'Icon'? Do you accept this
 role with honors, or reluctance?

Muse Watson: It's an honor.  I don't think it is "just"
luck either.  Although a  great audience reaction seems
a bit of luck in this business.  I think the  camera work,
 the other character's reactions, the movement I gave him,
 all have a part in it.  I'm proud to be a horror "Icon".
 ...and  grateful to the horror fans.  Of course like any
 other actor, I could wish that I could earn the  distinction
 of being a comedy icon too by the end of my career. (Laughs)

Lunchmeat: Between the renewed success of the
 modern day Slasher film, which 'classic' Slasher
Icon would you love to portray in a motion picture,
if you had the chance? And why?

Muse Watson: I was not a big fan of the genre before
 becoming 'Ben' so my knowledge  of them is limited.
I don't know which one I would choose, but I would
jump at the chance I'm sure. 


Lunchmeat: I Know What You Did Last Summer catapulted
many careers, including yours. What was it like to work
with such a talented bunch of actors/actresses, all at 
the same time? And if I may be so bold, which was your favorite?

Muse Watson: It is always exciting to work with a cast
full of folks who are on  their way up.  The energy is
amazing.  I really enjoyed getting to know them  and love
them.  As for my favorite, I can tell you I would be
proud to  have any or all of them as family.  Love will
always hold a special  place in my heart.  She was
responsible for my being on Saturday Night  Live. 
One of the biggest thrills of my life.  Sarah and I
really enjoyed  talking and going places, and I think
she is one of the sweetest and  most professional actors
I have ever had the pleasure to work with.   Freddy is a
really nice person and interesting to get to know.  He is
very  intelligent.  Ryan is thoughtful and kind.  He is
such a talented actor  that it's scary.  He has an
incredible range.  Johnney Galecki was fun  to get to know.
I worked with him again on 'Morgan's Ferry'...and would  
jump at the chance to work with him again.
We worked with some incredible talent in both films
and they were both  a pleasure to shoot.

Lunchmeat: I just saw 'Hollywood Vampyr'. It was kind of
odd not seeing you portray a villain. Which had you rather
play, the good guy, OR the villain? and why?

Muse Watson: I'm an actor.  I will play whatever the role
calls for.  I've done some  real villains though, and since
 the birth of my daughter, I guess I  would like to play some
 nice guys now.  Something she can watch. (Laughs)


Lunchmeat: Were you surprised that I Know What You Did Last Summer
 would become the success it has become?

Muse Watson: Well, yeah.  I didn't even go to the premier. 
LOL  My publicist said I  could stay at the hide-out in
Tennessee if I wanted to.  He said the  word on the street
was that something must be wrong with the film, since 
they were not allowing any press pre-screening.  LOL  You never
 know in  this business.   


Lunchmeat: Were you all up for filming a sequel and
reprising your role as, Ben Willis?

Muse Watson: Sure.  I was excited about working with
the cast again.  Although I was  disappointed in the
additional information they gave Ben's character  eventually.
I didn't think it was necessary or fit the original  character.


Lunchmeat: I know that on a lot of movie sets, certain
things can go wrong during production. Were there any 'mishaps'
 that occurred during the making of either 'Last Summer' film?
Muse Watson: Yeah.  When I was hung up-side down by one leg and
swung across the  boat...right after my hand was severed...I
busted all the blood vessels in  my eyes.  Love was grossed
out by the way it looked when I was put down  and called for
the medic.
Another time, the barge we were using for lighting broke
loose and was  headed for us and we had to evacuate the
barge we were using for  staging for fear that the collision
could hurt a bunch of us.  The 'throw him in the ocean' scene
became very scary.  It was scheduled  with the tides so I would
be able to stand on the bottom and have my  head above water after
they threw me in.  We got behind and the scened  was filmed after
the tide had come in over my head.  I had weights on me  to make sure
I went to the bottom, so that became an issue.  LOL  On I Still Know,
I busted the joint in my big toe and had to be  transported
by armed guards across bandit territory in the middle of the
night to a hospital.
I later had surgery.


Lunchmeat: And the 'eternal' question is, will there be
another 'Last Summer' sequel? And if so, are you rearing
and ready to go?

Muse Watson: I doubt it.  The folks who own the franchise
haven't said anything  except that they are not interested
in doing one.  I could be talked into  one, depending on how
 they handle the script and who they asked to be in  it.


Lunchmeat: Muse, I just want to thank you for your
time. It's been a real pleasure. 

Muse Watson: Thanks for asking.

The idiots who made the idiot

2007-02-07T19:52:00.000-05:00

I know I'm an asshole sometimes. I hate all people sometimes, but never all the time. I wake up on the wrong side of the wet spot like everybody else, and I'm not even an actor.

I'm honestly at a draw with where to begin. Bruce Campbell - That name should be synonymous with the Evil Dead series. Ok. I got one word for Bruce 'fuckface Campbell' - FANS.

To be honest, I've never been a big fan of the 'Evil Dead' series anyway. Sure, they're cult classics, but I just never acquired a taste for them. I personally apologize to any Evil Dead fans that may be reading.

I've come to realize over the years that Bruce is lacking in any form of sincere 'thank you' when it comes to his fans. Sure, Bruce never set out to be a 'fan winner' in the first place. He didn't aspire to be MY hero or little Billy's down the street. I'm sure if he really wanted to be truly famous, he would have never starred in The Evil Dead series in the first place.

I find it hard to believe that a guy whose lively hood comes from fans of The Evil Dead films refuses to sing autographs FROM HOME anymore. The last time I checked, Campbell's main achievement in life was having a bit part in a Spiderman film. Hmmmm. The name of the director for Spiderman just so happens to be the same as the guy's who directed the Evil Dead movies.

Does Bruce really think he's that good? Does he think that starring in Brisco County Jr. constitutes being able to snub his fans? Is it that Bruce simply doesn't need to appreciate his fans because he's that damn good? Seems to me that Campbell has a really big chip on his shoulder.

http://www.bruce-campbell.com/blogs/editorials/autograph-thing.htm

I've know a lot of ungrateful people in my life. I've even been guilty of being ungrateful at times, but I think that Campbell is the most egotistical prick in the entire United States.

Take for instance his book If Chins Could Kill. Alright, let me ask one question - Who are the fan base for his book? Let's see... Is it going to be someone OTHER than an Evil Dead fan? Case dismissed.

Anyone who would still support this unrelenting prick after he blatantly bashes them in a frilly way on his website needs to be smacked with a wet dildo. OR do a reality check. You can never be in the public eye and maintain a steady stream of work if you disrespect the people who make you.

Wait a minute. Strike everything I said. Bruce Campbell will someday have a star on the Walk of Fame. He now STARS in his very own Old Spice commercial.

Code Blue

2007-02-05T02:28:00.000-05:00

Something I've noticed over the past decade or so is that horror films have forgotten about the heartbeat effect. Come to think about it, I'd be hard pressed to name five films that have the 'heart beat' effect. For those of you who are confused, I'm simply referring to the sound of a beating heart during tense scenes. Thump thump. Thump thump.

I was watching the early 80's slasher flick 'The Prey' over the weekend and noticed that even tho the film is so bad it's good, the heartbeat during some of the point of view scenes was very effective.

George Romero's 'Dawn of the Dead' has this effect during the scene in the news station. He also uses it again during the apartment siege - when Peter and Roger are in the basement - shooting helpless zombies one by one. 'Dawn of the Dead' is one of those films that remained with me from childhood. One of the main reasons it was so memorable was because of the score - in particular, the heartbeat. Goblin really outdid themselves.

I've always said that the score to the movie is 40% of the film. I was watching 'Satan's Blade' over the holidays (a RARE slasher film from the 80's) and realized that the score was one of the main reasons I enjoyed it so much. Along with the cold wintery landscape, the score was simply mesmerizing. The film can get all the bad reviews it wants, but the movie delivered in the atmosphere department. Why? The score. Was the acting good? No. It was shit. Forgive me.

Take for instance Carpenter's 'Halloween'. One of the first things people think of when someone mentions 'Halloween' is the scary ass music accompanying the film.

There's the the 80's slasher flick 'House on Sorority Row'. Not only did the director give us great style and classy camera work, the composer gave us some classy piano music which helped set the flick aside from a lot of other slasher films in the same department. A VERY classy slasher movie.

What about Dario Argento's 'Suspiria'? The film would simply be a gorgeous spectrum of style and substance without the haunting score.

Sometimes, the lack of a score is efficient. 'Malevolence', a fairly new straight to dvd release gets a lot of good reviews - and it should. Good acting. Good cinematography. The score throughout most of the movie was a simple humming that was barely audible. The quietness sort of overshadowed the hum, adding just the right amount of cinematic atmosphere to the flick.

I've noticed that I've strayed away from what I was originally going to post about - The heartbeat. Someone hand Hollywood composers a defibrillator and get that heart a pumping.

Skinned Alive 1989

2007-02-03T16:52:00.000-05:00

Tempe Entertainment released Skinned Alive on dvd about four years ago. It was actually produced by J.R. Bookwalter (owner of Tempe) back in the mid eighties and was available for rent or purchase in 1989. I have no idea how I missed out on this film as a kid. Think 'Three Stooges mixed with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre ' and you can draw your own conclusion.

John Killough (director) was only around twenty when he shot this flick. The budget was around twenty bucks, so don't expect some glossy Hollywood flop here. If Cheese and high brow comedy mixed with gore and hinted incest burns your esophagus, don't try watching this flick. You'll overdose on Pepto Bismol.

Crawldaddy's is a traveling hide tanning service (Ha!) consisting of 'Crawldaddy' and her son and daughter. (Crawldaddy is one eyed female paraplegic who uses the foulest language you've ever heard - and insists that her son Fink (Scott Spiegel) and daughter Violet (Susan Rothacker) call her 'Daddy') They're on their daily rounds when they kill a hitchhiker and a fat fuzzy-headed salesman. Their van soon breaks down where they meet a mechanic and his eccentric Wife - Tom and Minnie Miles - (Played by: Lester Clark, Barbara Norrod)

Being the slow minded individuals they are, they ask the crew to spend the night until the van is repaired. The scuzzy crew accept the offer and lodge themselves in the middle aged couple's basement.

An alcoholic ex-cop named Paul (Floyd Ewing Jr) - who lives next door to Tom and Minnie - who's now homebound and drunk due to a divorce, reminisces of the good old days - before his marriage fell apart and before he shot that Mexican woman in a junkyard, which eventually ruined his career as a policeman. He's now downing a half a fifth of vodka in one shot and pretty much dazes himself out as early as 8:30 in the morning.

We're treated to some gonzo divorce talk between our drunk ex-cop and his wife. Apparently, his wife plans on taking everything he owns - the house - the car - the dog - Not only this, she's sleeping with her lawyer. If you like dialog that will make you giggle even tho you know it's awful, get prepared to be entertained even tho you know you shouldn't be.

John Killough also wrote the film and tried to give us some of the raunchiest dialog you'll ever hear. Some scene are completely hilarious while some shots are just plain sick. Violet and Fink are supposed to be brother and sister, but act more like a disgruntled couple.

There's one scene that involves Fink and his sister in a hot and steamy 'love scene' There's a bugged out Scott Spiegel fumbling like a fool with the semi-pretty Susan Rothaker's leather bra. (This is the funniest thing I've ever seen) There's this silly music playing in the background that adds a bit of a lighthearted feel to the movie even tho the subject matter is just plain sick.

There's a scene that has a delivery boy (who just so happens to be delivering a set of kitchen knives to the mechanics wife) who gets his fingers chopped off by Crawldaddy. He jumps in his car and travels a piece down the road only to have Violet blow his brains out from the back seat. Good stuff.

Everything in the film inspires madness and chaos. Derived from the mind of a young John Killough, this is a movie that should be watched by a bunch of drunk friends. The dialog alone gives it a personal friend feel - as the language used seems like something I would say in a drunk conversation with the group. Some really zany stuff. "Cheese dick" - "Selfish ridden bitch." "Stay here you little dingle berry, That fuckwad's mine!" "Lick my plate you dog dick!" - Wait....wrong movie.

Anyway, 'Skinned Alive' could very well be classified as a slasher, although I'd prefer to call it something like 'gonzo horror'. This is simply because I've never really watched a flick quiet like it. Shoddy camera work. Bad picture quality -There's a text statement by Bookwalter that says they did everything possible to restore the film to an outstanding quality, but we would have to simply live with what we get. It's bad, but the lighting was good. The quality of the picture really has nothing to do with lighting.

Our drunkard policeman realizes that this group of strange individuals are offing people left and right. He soon learns that they have attempted to kill Tom the Mechanic. His wife Minnie has her arm chopped off in grizzly fashion - leaving her to bleed to death. Paul takes matters into his on hands and goes Rambo on our bunch of goons. [He should have just called in Ranger Mark Obrien and he could have sedated these bunch of idiots.]

Paul shoots and kills Crawldaddy - her bullet ridden body pulverized and torn by bloody bullets. You'll forget all about the fact that its actually a garbage bag filled with stage blood - sporting Crawldaddy's (Mary Jackson's) clothes on it.

There's a final showdown against 'Evil Dead 2's' Scott Spiegel and Flowd Ewing Jr. After Fink gets his nose bitten off, he still manages to worry about his vain appearance. He has the nerve to call Paul a 'cannibal motherfucker.' Oh man. This movie really can't be put into words.

Crawldaddy also eats up her share of celluloid. Mary Jackson goes all out with her role. I cannot begin to explain the comic touch Jackson added to the film. Again, I've never seen anything like it. Buy the time it was over, my stomach was sore from laughing so much. My brow was constantly raised, but with a constant smile throughout its entire running time.

I'll recommend this to any horror fan. A zany ride that will have you watching this flick more times than you'll ever admit to.

Scott Spiegel (Fink) is the star of the show. He eats up the scenery and gives us a brand of comedy laden with Larry, Moe, and Curly that you won't forget anytime after. This should be the poster flick for films that are so bad they're good. I cannot recommend this flick enough. Buy it NOW ''cheese dick!''

This flick is now available on a Brentwood pack of the same name.

There were a lot of struggle between director Killoguh and Bookwalter. (producer)
Fink was actually played by another guy other than Scott Spiegel, but he dropped out leaving Spiegel to fill his shoes. A scene in the movie that involves Fink is actually the other guys head.

Floyd Ewing Jr had second thoughts about appearing in 'Skinned alive- Stating that the dialog was a little too harsh for him.

Final Exam 1981

2007-02-01T16:54:00.000-05:00

Final Exam is a film that's near and dear to me. I guess this is because I actually wrote, directed, and starred in the film. Not really. Final Exam is one of those movies that will grab you by the bore strings and play ''Achy Breaky Heart'' by Billy Ray Cyrus. I said rile them up a 'little'

What's so different about 'Final Exam'? Isn't it one of those cookie cutter 80's slasher films that tried to cash in on Carpenter's 'Halloween'? Sure it is. But, what slasher film from '78 on ISN'T an homage -or- as some people like to say, 'RIPOFF'? Really, I can't think of one.

What sets this film off from all the other 80's slasher movies is that it features barn yard sex and Brazilian homosexual clowns. Seriously, director Jimmy Houston actually took time to give us a well crafted film. A lot of films of its ilk were very incompetently done, leaving plot holes, continuity errors, and boom mikes for the viewer to sift through.
It seems as if Houston thought out his venture before applying it to celluloid.

March is a small quaint little college nestled in the hills of a mountainous region. Two college kids are parked somewhere on campus in the middle of the night. JockBoy tries to convince his female counterpart that he cares enough about her to constitute a little sex. We get the 'Do you really love me?' quote from the female as the guy responds in that horny-jock kind of way, "I'm out with you aren't I?" Of course he loves her. After all, HE's OUT with HER, right?

Suddenly, just as Jock-Boy coaxes his girlfriend to do the nasty, someone or something is bumping and pushing the car. Jock-Boy thinks it's one of his 'frustrated Jock' buddies - Jealous of their star quarterback and the fact that he's about to score. He soon finds out different when an unknown face appears pressed against the windshield. It's written in stone when this same specter jumps on top of the car and slices through the convertible vinyl with a large butchers knife.

You may have guessed that jock-boy gets dragged out of the car from his newly cut sunroof, leaving a creeping close-up of our screaming girls ugly face.

CUT TO: Lanier College. It's a beautiful sunny day. Final exams are on the rise and most of the kids have already gone home. Courtney, Radish, and Mark are walking down the campus walk discussing exams. Radish (our closet homo) scoots his skinny frame along the sidewalk and mentions that the star quarterback from March College was murdered the night before along with his female friend. Mark denies any form of sympathy and gets a ray of hope in that Lanier College might be able to take March College during the coming football season.

Wes Craven's Scream opens up almost the same way except we have a bunch of high school kids instead of college hedonistic freaks and drunks. It's obvious that Craven had seen this movie before making Scream. If this wasn't enough, Randy refers to Final Exam in Scream 2.

What we get with the rest of Final Exam is quiet different than a lot of other slasher flicks. The following may also be the reason many people dislike the film. Jimmy Houston (director) also wrote the film. Giving us a ton of character development was definitely a step in the right direction in my book. I may have not had many emotional ties with a lot of the characters, but the heroine of the movie Cecile Bagdadi (Courtney) was the epitome of a 'final girl'.

Throughout the entire film, a sinister presence stalks the campus in his black van - scouting out the area around the campus. We get to see small glimpses of him even tho there seems to be no motive for his apparent murderous intentions. We have no evidence that he was either burned badly by a bunch of kids or if his mother was beheaded by a female camp counselor when he was young. Houston was obviously going with the Halloween angle by allowing our killer to stalk the halls and campus of Lanier College with seemingly no ulterior motives.

What makes Final Exam so fun in my personal opinion is the college shenanigans we're subjected to throughout the films running time. The entire first half is filled with college pranks and fraternity initiations by our two main frat jocks 'Wildman' and Mark. Mark is the seemingly no brained quarterback who has his own personal yes-men to do his bidding. 'Wildman' is your typical bully-jock who likes to harass our campus closet homosexual and high brained nerd, Radish. Radish is a wiry little fellow with a semi-afro who has a certain fascination with serial killers. He even has a Tool Box Murders poster hanging in his dorm room.

There's also Gary. Gary is a frat boy in the making. Wildman and Mark give him total hell - forcing him to steal tests and go along with their elaborate prank around the first quarter of the films running time. Gary later pins his girlfriend with the fraternity pin and soon gets 'kidnapped' by his fellow frat brothers, stripped down to his underwear, tied to a tree, and is repeatedly doused with ice and sprayed with fire extinguishers.

There's also an on-campus affair between a curly headed Chemistry teacher who has a ''red headed wife'' and a blond college whore.

Is there any killing in this movie? Sure there is. I'm about to get to that. It seems as if all Gary's frat brother's accomplished was unknowingly using Gary as fishing bait for our killer. As the night sets in, it becomes quiet cold. Gary is still outside, tied to his tree. Our campus security guard is on the prowl and reassuringly offers Gary a drink of his fine bourbon. Gary sees Mitch the security guard as a Godsend. Little does he know that Mitch is the kind of guy who 'never messes with tradition'.

As Mitch jokingly pours liquor down Garys underwear, he then leaves, leaving Gary to shiver and shake in the cold North Carolinian air. Uh oh. There's a rustle in the leaves. Gary thinks it's his girlfriend behind him cutting the ropes. He's oblivious to the fact that he's about to get stabbed to death. From out of nowhere, our deranged killer stealthily jumps from his tree and pummels Gary to the ground and does his thing in bloodless fashion.

"You mean there's no blood in this flick?" Well, not much. This is the kind of movie that really doesn't need it. It bases it's story around character, tension and suspense. "Well, without blood, it BETTER deliver." Don't be afraid my child. It DOES deliver. It depends on how you look at it, I guess.

The last thirty five minutes are filled with our killer creeping through the atmospheric halls and campus of Lanier College. There's a feeling of gloom and doom as our army jacket wearing killer slices, dices and manhandles the remaining members of our cast.

Courtney, our virginal heroine, roams carelessly about, unknowing that all her friends are dead. When things get rolling, Courtney does her best to run for help as she comes back to her room to see a dead Radish hanging through an open hole in her dorm room door. When she finally comes face to face with our killer, we finally realize that he's a seemingly ordinary looking man. "Doesn't he even wear a mask?" Sorry to disappoint you. He's basically an average Joe who evidently likes to kill people for the hell of it.

A very good score also looms in the audio ground, elevating scenes and adding a bit of tension that escalates the mood of the movie. I don't mind if it does sound familiar to the 'Halloween' score, it adds a lot to the film.

Our battle between our final girl and the killer wages on throughout the campus, lunchrooms and buildings. He's seemingly everywhere and Courtney does her damnedest to stay alive. It's an 'epic' battle to the finish as our killer slips and and eventually falls three stories to his death.

Final Exam is a movie that many horror (even Slasher fans) haven't seen. Most horror fans have heard of it, but have either dismissed it because it's not one of the popular films of it's time, or because of the reviews they've read. I've seen a lot of slasher films in my time and 'Final Exam' sticks ever so closely to the rules of the slasher genre and doesn't stray off track. Even tho it walks firmly in the footsteps of it's more famous predecessors, it's not as cliche as one might think. If you are a fan of the slasher genre, do yourself a favor and at least give it a shot.

Final Exam isn't for everyone. It is a little talky and there is a lot of attempt at the development of characters. Nevertheless, if you're the slasher completest, you merely have to see it.

The Dorm That Dripped Blood 1982

2007-01-30T19:54:00.000-05:00

"Uh, I was looking at your shoes."

"Gimme an D! Gimme a E! Gimme a A! Gimme a D! What does that spell?"

"I don't give a damn. I need someone who can get a hard-on."

"That IS a knife in your hand."

"I finally passed that kidney stone."

"I'm gonna lie down. I have a tummy ache"

The janitor has a tummy ache.

Morgan Meadows Hall, an isolated seven story dormitory stands empty. Corridors that were once filled with the vibrant sound of co-eds having sex and puking all over the place is now vacant - on the verge of being torn down. No more wild parties. No more keg stands and such.

Five college students volunteer to close the dorm during the Christmas season. Soon, however, out of the dark recesses of the quiet building emerges a haunting and lethal menace. Mysteriously, all phone lines are cut and the students are plunged into the darkness of a powerless and increasingly frenzied gloom. In a series of grizzly murders by and unknown specter, the students begin to disappear. Did David Copperfield kidnap them and throw them off a train?

As the murder mounts and the high-pitched staccato of slaying continues, the remaining students realize their up against a killer who'll eventually kill them with a spoon or something. The dark halls of the dorm now hide the killers identity. Once the object of nostalgic affection, Morgan Meadows Hall has been hideously transformed into the most suffocating nightmare imaginable. Well, not to unimaginable. Is that a paradox?

Well, right off the bat, bad news prevails as I this little 'hider-in-the-cranny' is directed by two people. Jeffrey Obrow and Stephen Carpenter are the biggest attention craver's on the face of the earth. Everything was evidently construed from the puny minds of these two people as their name is all over the back of the box.

Sliding towards the gist of the whole thing: The Dorm That Dripped Blood was an attempt by two guys who thought they could make a few bucks off the slasher craze started by 'Halloween' and 'Friday the 13th'. Did they succeed? Well, if you like terrible movies you'll love it. TDTDB delivers in many departments even tho some things are hard to see because of bad lighting. I'm sure either Carpenter or Obrow was responsible for being the DP, but decided to actually not use their name for a credit, pawning off the horrendous lighting job on some other poor soul. How generous of them.

Nevertheless, we start off with a guy who's running away from someone or something. He hides behind some bushes and he thinks he's home free. Wrong. Someone jumps from out of nowhere and slices his hand in two. This scene has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie.

We are soon taken to an old dormitory (Morgan Meadows Hall) where Joanne, Craig, Patty, and Brian are doing their best to take inventory of everything in the dorm and sell it. Debbie (A young Daphne Zuniga) eventually gives the crew the news that she's not going to be able to stay for the whole two weeks and that her parents were on the way to pick her up.

Debbie's parents soon get murdered - Her mother choked to death by a wire from the backseat of her car - Her father whacked repeatedly in the head with a baseball bat with barbed-wire wrapped around it. Debbie comes to the parking lot to meet them, finds their bodies, faints, and eventually gets ran over repeatedly by this unknown specter.

Anyway, there's the usual crap dialog - Patty likes Brian, but Joanne likes him too. But Joanne also has a boyfriend. Is he the murderous jealous type? There's a small hint of a love triangle in the making, but it never takes shape.

A couple days down the road, Joanne is out back at the dump checking on 'inventory items' and meets up with a 'junkster' named Bobby Lee Tremble. He takes a liking to Joanne and talks her into taking a check for his junk purchases. Somehow, Bobby Lee acquires Joannes dorm number gives her a call late one night. He wants the two of them to get together for a beer, but she turns him down. He and his hard dick decide to take a drive.

If this isn't enough, we have a homeless balding, fuzzy-headed freak running around - using the dormitory as shelter. After a few encounters with the 'Hemmitt the Hermit', weird things start to happen. A buffet table gets smashed - Food gets stolen - The lights go out - The phone lines get cut - Is HE responsible?

There's not much to comment about when it comes to this film. We do have SOME decent acting, even though the lead, Laura Lapinski, looks like a piece of cardboard taped to a stick that a puppeteer from the rafters was controlling.

We also have some good slasher action going on in the form of drills, Groen pressure cookers, cars, baseball bats wrapped in barbed wire, the good old-fashioned butchers knife and even an incenerator. There's also a very good score that adds a little bit of eeriness to the film that it normally wouldn't have had. There's a couple good point of view shots, but nothing to write home about.

Spoiler below

There's a GREAT down beat ending that leads to a twist that I really didn't see coming. I'll admit, I love the ending even tho the main lead also dies. It definitely gave room for a sequel, but it never happened. I would loved to have seen a sequel to this movie - Still would.

Should you watch this flick? Sure. Why not? The only reason you're here is because you like cheesy flicks. I love you. The alternate title to this film is called 'PRANKS' - Even tho I don't think there was one prank throughout the whole film - Unless you count Craig throwing a fake spider into someone's eggs.

Nevertheless, aside from all the bad things this film contains, it's the worth the view. It's not particularly rare, but you'll probably have to snatch a copy from eBay or Amazon. It's well worth the eight-ten bucks.

Antonella Fulci Interview

2007-01-30T00:09:00.000-05:00

*This post may look different on certain browsers. The quality may not be the same.*

Below are a few pics of Lucio Fulci's daughter Antonella. I did an extensive interview with her back in 2003. I learned a lot of things about Fulci that I didn't know. I learned of his love for erotic asphyxiation and implanting needles in his sack. He also liked bathing with his dog and eating cheese while reading Play girl. Of course, I'm kidding. He actually liked to rub chocolate on his face while reading Play Girl.

Seriously, below is the interview I conducted with Anto' back in 2003. I have an updated interview, but it's going to be placed on another website in the near future. I also threw in a few pics. It's nice to see the resemblance.
"Damn right! I'm Fulci's daughter."

Below is the INTERVIEW I conducted with her in early 2003. This should be a cool read for you Fulci fans.

LUNCHMEAT: Being the daughter of one of
the most beloved horror directors of all
time, I would imagine that at
a young age you were introduced to
the nightmarish world of your
Father's work. How did being the
daughter of such a controversial figure
in the Italian/American horror
industry play a part in your
younger years?




ANTONELLA: When my father shot Zombie,
I was already 19 y.o, and for us, it  was
just another film. If you
think that my father had already shot
about 40 films as a director and
had written about 90 as a
screenwriter, you can understand why.
My father had a job like any
other father, the only difference
was that his 'office' was a set. When
I was a kid, in the 60's, the
words 'let's go say hello to dad at
work' meant going somewhere where a
bunch of wonderful people were
playing a game and joked
with me and bought me ice creams.

I loved it,
and thought that my dad
was the luckiest guy in this
world, cause his job was having fun
with his friends.
I don't think that, if he could decide,
he'd like to be remembered for
his horror movies even if, as
a professionist, he surely did the best
about the matter. After all, he
had 30 years of carrier on his
back. I must say I don't like it too,
cause I find it very limited.


LUNCHMEAT: To shed some light on
my horror background a little: One of the first
films that ever gave me
nightmares was 'The Gates of Hell'-
The scene where the lady vomits up
her intestines is pure art in
my book! I am curious to know, what
was the first horror related
experience you ever had?




ANTONELLA: Good scene indeed, and functional
for the mood of the film. The first
time I saw my father shooting
a 'horror' scene I was very young,
12 or 13 I think. I went to 'visit
dad at work' on the set of 'Don't
torture a Duckling'. We  were in a
small real cemetery in Abruzzo (a
region of central Italy) and my
first vision was miss Florinda Bolkan,
and I still remember how
beautiful she was, with the longest
black hair I'd ever seen, sitting on
a chair and happily chatting with
a guy that was fixing little tubes
full of a red substance on her skin
with some plaster. While I was
still staring at that awesome
'creature of the wood', the guy
started modeling a horrible scar on her
shoulder, and I became
curious to see what would happen next....
There were guys around there,
with plastic chains in their hands,
familiar faces that I had seen
'playing games' with my dad since
when I was a little kid, so nothing
frightened me until then...
But when it came to shoot

the scene of the brutal killing of the
'Maciara' everything changed. It was
so real! Their faces changed, those
harmless plastic things really
seemed deadly weapons, that
false scar kept bleeding tomato
in front of me, and I felt strange,
because I somehow understood
that I wasn't scared by the chains or
by the fake blood, but by what
was behind that scene. When
my father said 'cut!' the villains
and the victim started joking and
laughing as always, but lately,
when I saw the movie, I understood
that my fears were related to
something that my father always
repeated to me. He always said
that the most horrible things in this
world come from ignorance and
bigotry, and as they were both well
represented by that scene, my mind
had gone beyond the
false chains and the tomato.....


LUNCHMEAT: As is probably obvious to you,
many movie critics wrote Lucio's films
off as being barbaric and
lacking vision. I personally couldn't
disagree more and consider him a
master at delivering
'atmosphere'. How did it make you feel
to hear such things about your
Father's work?




ANTONELLA: I think that they probably have
seen the wrong movies. As I said it's
impossible to judge my
father's work only from his horror movies.
If it goes on like this, his
fate is to be misunderstood. If
you could see all the beautiful comedies
he's done and written, and all
the different kind of movies
he has made, you'd see that there are
many good horror directors and
only one Lucio Fulci!




LUNCHMEAT: I understand that you were

a special guest at 'Cult Con 2002' of
November of last

 year in Tarrytown, New York. Could
you maybe give
us some background on who was there and
maybe share a mini
experience you had while attending?




ANTONELLA: I was in Sleepy Hollow-Tarrytown
2 years ago for the 2000 edition of
the Cult Con. It's been mostly
a great experience for me, I met a lot of
very nice people, and a
couple of them have become my
dear friends. Plus I feel that New York
is my second hometown. Me and
Valentina, Mr. Deodato's
girlfriend, were the only girls of the
gang (I'm 42 now but please let
me call myself a girl once
more), and I had a lot of fun with all
the Italian bunch.
There I had the chance to meet many
American hardcore horror fans, all
great guys, and even if I
think that some of them make a little
confusion between fiction and
reality they've been truly
exquisite.
The touching side of the story is that
sometimes I felt 'watched'. You
know when you feel
someone's eyes right on you? Well,
most of the times I turned back and
saw a guy staring at 'the
daughter of the Godfather of Gore'.
Every time that it happened, I would
have liked to go there,
introduce myself and say: 'Hi guy,
I'm Antonella, nice to meet you',
just to show I was nothing
special.....




LUNCHMEAT: As is obvious to any Fulci fan,
your Father didn't start off his
directing career with the horror genre. I
understand that he has a few spaghetti
westerns and comedies under his
belt. Do you have any
idea why Lucio transgressed from the
direction of light-hearted
material, to the the macabre world
of gore and death?




ANTONELLA: The producers offered him to
shoot those kinds of movies, and probably
he showed up so good in
making them that the producers, or better
let's say The Producer a.k.a.
Fabrizio de Angelis, a
genius in my humble opinion, understood
that he had a winning horse by
the hands. They became
collaborators and good friends, and
together made great stuff. Behind
the scenes, the making of
those movies was a fun and a pleasure.
With a wizard of the lights like
Sergio Salvati, cameramen
like Franco Bruni and Maurizio Lucchini,
make up artists like De Rossi
and Maurizio Trani and all the
other wonderful people there, you can
imagine that it was heaven, for
my dad. Unfortunately, even
when Fabrizio de Angelis stopped
producing his movies, his name has
been type-casted into horror
genre, and Italian genre cinema
started to fall down the hill.
I hate the fact that some people
may start to know Lucio Fulci from
film like the ones he just did for
money, like Demonia or Zombie 3, that
he only directed partly. I can't
really disagree when
someone says that my father has made
crappy movies, cause they've just
seen those ones, but it
hurts....



LUNCHMEAT: It was brought to my attention

that you are a very big 'American'
horror film enthusiast as well.
What is your favorite 'American' horror film and why?




ANTONELLA: Actually, I'm a big fan of
'unusual movies' and a John Waters and
Divine's true worshipper. Horror is
a genre like the others, for me. There's
good and (terribly) bad in it.
Anyway, there's a recent
enough American movie that terrified me,
and made me fall in love with
it. It's 'Requiem for a
Dream' by Darren Aronofsky. I consider
it a horror film with a touch of
genius. There's fear, there's
gore, there's hallucination, and the
sensation that you are somehow
part of the story. At the end of
the movie, I was petrified on my chair,
feeling that I was Sara, and
Harold, and Marion, and that
other guy (wonderful actor by the way),
all at once. What I'd just seen
was the nightmarish side of
everyone's everyday life. My father
would have loved it so much!
Ironically the title of one of his
best short stories, that's been published
on one of his books is 'The
Killer of the Dreams'. I've also
had a crush for 'The Blair Witch Project',
so hard that I wrote a book
about it that went very well, but
that's another story....





LUNCHMEAT: I understand that a hardcore
Lucio fan named Mike Baronas is in the
process of publishing a
biography on your Father. I would imagine
you played a part in the
making of the book. Can you
maybe give us a little information on
the book and when it will be
released?




ANTONELLA: As you've probably understood,
I don't think that a horror fan could be
the right person to write my
father's biography. I really appreciate
the passion that one may put in
such a thing, and am
grateful to every single Lucio's fan, but to
speak about my dad so that
people may really know him,
one should dig deeper, so as always I
put a big distance between me and
these projects. I had
problems, in the past, with people who
wrote for horror magazines, and
with some 'wish I was a
writer' people who put out bad books
and articles about my father that
only helped to typecast him.

I'm not saying it could happen again,
but sincerely I prefer not to be
involved with these things.
The only book that gave me a big satisfaction
was Stephen Thrower's
'Beyond Terror'.
Actually there's a book that I'm supporting,
soon to be published by an
Italian author, Paolo
Albiero, that's the most complete Lucio's
biography you can imagine.
The author, a professor in
psychology at the University of Padova,
spent 5 years  collecting
material and interviewing all the
people (some of them are not with us anymore,
unfortunately) that had
an impact on my father's
personal life and carrier. The result is
so awesome that reading it I,
myself, sort of reconstructed
parts of my family life that I had missed.
I'm glad that now the
readers will have a choice. Not only
books about Lucio's carrier in the horror
scene, but also books about
Lucio, that was a more
interesting human being than
most of his horror films.





LUNCHMEAT:I would have loved to have visited

the set of any of Lucio's films
(preferably New York Ripper) so I
could have experienced the magic of film
making first hand. Did you ever
get to visit the set of any
of his films? And if so, could you maybe
share an experience with us?




ANTONELLA: You're lucky cause I've been in
NY during all the making of The Ripper.
A nice anecdote regards
Howard Ross, the guy with the amputated

fingers in the film, and the
nicest and gentlest person
you could ever meet. They had to shoot the
scene where the guy is found
dead with his head
wrapped up in plastic. The make up artist had
done a great work on his
face, so Renato (Howard)
had the idea of making a joke to the hotel
clerks. He went down the
hall in full makeup, with all the
false rotting skin hanging around his face.
But the clerks said
nothing, looked him normally in the

face, took the room key and politely greeted
him. He got very
disappointed by that at first, but
then we looked each other in the face and
started laughing so hard that
the make up almost fell
down.......That was more or less a typical
situation, in the making of
a Lucio's movie....




LUNCHMEAT: When it came to the films of
your Father, some of his ideas were
marvelous. I would imagine that
being around your Father after a long
day of shooting, he would
sometimes 'bring his work' home
with him. Do you have any ideas where
Lucio came up with some of his
nightmarish visions? And if
so, can you elaborate just a little bit?




ANTONELLA: Questions like this make me more
motivated in realizing a project that
I have in mind, a
documentary about my father. The title will be 'Gimme Some Truth', and
it will be a 'Lucio in his own
words' thing. It will include some family
movies shot by him in the
50's and 60's and other amazing
stuff. Anyway, about your question: 'No,
the 'nightmares' stopped when
he said 'cut!' then we all
went back to our lives, that were very happy
at those times. A film maker
is mostly an illusionist, he
can make you believe he's having nightmares
while he's making wonderful
dreams.



LUNCHMEAT: I don't think many people realize
this, but Lucio authored a few books
in his time. Can you give us
a little information on this?
I have to say, that being a
Fulci fan, I tend to enjoy all of his
horror films. I'm sure you have a
favorite of his as well. Just curious,
out of all his films, which do
you enjoy most and why?




ANTONELLA: Don't Torture a Duckling, cause
every character of the movie is a good
fellow and a monster at the
same time, and for the reasons I've
explained before. And all the
wonderful comedies he co-wrote
in the fifties with 'Maestro' Steno
(Stefano Vanzina), a person that he
idolized and that taught hi
almost all he knew about film making, when
my father was his assistant
director.





LUNCHMEAT: Before we close, I would like to say
that to most of Lucio's fans, he
is remembered as being the
'Godfather of Gore', but to his beloved

daughter, what words would you
use as a rememberence to
describe your famous Father?




ANTONELLA: He was a natural born entertainer
and the funniest person I've ever
known. Every day with him was
a 'happening', and you could never imagine
what he could invent next.
He was a cinephile and a
jazz music big fan. He taught me that
if you have a passion, an
interest, nothing can be stronger
than you, because in every situation,
even in the worst ones, you'll
have a film to watch or a song
to listen to, that will help you
overcome the bad times.


LUNCHMEAT: Antonella, I want to express my
deepest thanks for your sharing some
time with us. You have
made me and every other Fulci fanatic
very happy. It is always good to
know that there are still
some very nice and cooperative people
left in the world. I bid you the
best of luck in life and wish
upon you nothing but happiness and good times.
Thank you very much.

The Babysitter

2007-01-27T14:03:00.000-05:00

Patty Duke was hot back in the day

A crazy girl weasels herself inside a family home and ruins it from the inside out.

A mysterious, enchanting girl named Joanna manipulates the Benedict family to the very edge of dysfunctional family-ism. Hired as a house maid after an elaborate set-up in which Mrs Benedict (Patty duke) nearly runs over her, the babysitter, Joanne, gains the respect and devotion of the family by her efficiency, understanding, and sympathy.

The suspicious neighbor endeavors to uncover Joanna's closely guarded past but not before his grandson (The blond guy from HUMONGOUS - David Wallace) is drowned while on a boat trip with Joanna.

The neighbor uncovers the disturbing truth about Joanna just in time to save the Benedict family from a hideous fate. This mystery-suspense thriller delivers the goods in some departments - especially William Shatner overacting to the point to where you think he's going to go into the bathroom and change outfits - coming back in a 1960's spandex space costume.

What to think of this film? Released for television back in 1980, the producers were obviously trying to cash in on the slasher craze that befuddled the world around that golden era. Instead of going to the big screen, the film gave even the most wholesome family a taste of slasher-goodness that they normally wouldn't have been exposed to.

When I say slasher, I DO use the term loosely. Basically, there's no slashing going on, but it teeters on the fence - almost stepping on slasher-grounded territory a time or two - especially during our climax where there's a stalking with a butchers knife. There's also a few other little surprises that just so happen to be lying under large sheets of plastic. Is it dusty furniture?

Even the most jaded fan will find something about this little made for television flick to talk about. It may not make discussion at the dinner table, but it has that cold Seattle feel to it that leaves an impression on you. Washington State is the American equivalent as Canada, btw. Feck you too!

There's a great fish bashing scene that gives us a close-up of Joanna's beautiful, but disgruntled face as she whacks a catfish in the head more times than normal. I'm not sure of the 'normal' amount of times one is supposed to whack a catfish over the head, but who's counting anyway? BTW, this movie was produced by the same people who produced 'Cannibal Holocaust'. Of course, I'm only kidding.

The bottom line is that this movie is very watchable - even for the die-hard slasher/horror fan. If nothing else, watch it for a confused William Shatner.

Wrong movie, asshole.

A Day With Jackson Bostwick

2007-01-27T02:51:00.000-05:00

Lunchmeat's Bit's and Pieces got a chance to follow alongside Jackson Bostwick (Better known as Ranger Mark O'Brian) on one of his daily routines. He was generous enough to allow us to snap a few pictures along the way.

Above is a picture of Jackson hanging himself to get the day started off right. Nothing like a little lack of oxygen to get the heart pumping.

Above is a picture of Jackson and Mongo doing their daily Judo exercises. Mongo was badly burned in a BBQ'ing incident which eventually destroyed hundreds of acres of wildlife and habitat in the form of the worst forest fire North Point had ever seen - not to mention the rest of Mongo's family were also burned alive.

Above is Jackson shooting is new pellet gun. It was gift from all the other park rangers for Christmas. Jackson wanted the new Family Guy doll, but it was all sold out.

Above is a picture of Jackson after realizing he left the toilet paper back at the cabin.

The above picture was taken when Jackson decided to shave his trademarked beard for the first time in fifteen years. This was the last picture taken just before he and General Zod jetted off into the clouds.

Rare Lucio Fulci Pics

2007-01-26T21:09:00.001-05:00

Below are some rare pictures of Lucio Fulci on the job. They were given to me by his daughter (Antonella). I did an extensive interview with her back in 2003, and these are the pictures she sent to go along with the interview. To my knowledge, these pictures haven't been published in any books, magazines, or dvd's. They were, however, placed on a defunct website and another blog I once attempted. I doubt that they've been seen by many people. Some GREAT pictures of the Godfather of Gore in his hey-day.

Look for excerpts (or maybe the whole thing) of the interview with Lucio's daughter. She's one generous lady. I'm an idiot, so I forgot to ask her from what film these were taken. Now, how stupid can one get?

Miami Horror - -aka- Miami Golem

2007-01-22T17:04:00.000-05:00

Alberto de Martino may be a recognizable name to fans of Italian B-movies. Fans of the poloziotteschi genre may recognize his entry into the sub genre under the title: 'Shadows in an Empty Room.''

David Warbeck, which may also be a recognizable name in the world of cult cinema, plays a burned out reporter (Craig Milford) who is on the story of a Miami based scientist who has ultimately revived the cells of an unknown creature. But little do they know, their experiment has sparked life, and unlocked the powers of an unknown alien entity. (Golem)

The reporter works to unravel (don't all Italian films has a reporter who stick his nose into shit it doesn't belong?) the complex web of cheesy activity surrounding the scientist's discovery.

Ghost images, strange sounds, and 'powerful' invisible forces that violently attack people is only a spoonful of the Euro-medicine delivered with 'Miami Horror'. It's brain food for a dog. It's cheese for a rat. It has everything b movie lovers will want to marry.The alien continues to grow, utilizing its psychic abilities to control and kill. It's not the only thing doing the killing. A group of power hungry men want control over this force and will murder and cause mayhem to obtain it. Reckon they're from the United States?

Our faithful reporter gets caught right in the middle of things as he runs into a woman who eventually has a lot to do with the story. Oh my. I don't know how to put it mildly, but this movie can boast at having the ugliest leading lady in the history of film. (Including 70's porno flicks) She's a cross between Rod Stewart and a horse. Oh wait, add a little bit of R. Lee Ermy (The eyebrows) in there and you'll have it.

Not only are we treated to this womans ugly face throughout the entire film, we get to see her in her hairy beaver bliss in a nude shower scene. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water! Anyway, this movie is cheese, cheese, cheese. There's just no stopping this cheesy-monster truck as it pummels old cars and buses under its huge frame. How could I have forgotten the obvious ripping off of the 'Beverly Hills Cop' theme? The only thing the composers did that was different was add a little bit of ripped-off 'Miami Vice' music. I guess if two ripped scores are added together, it sort of equals itself out and becomes the original idea of the composers. Hey, I wonder if I could do this with 'Guns 'n' Roses' and 'Metallica'?

I kind of felt sorry for Warbeck after watching this flick. I like Warbeck. He's a very capable actor who always added a certain touch to his roles. I guess my favorite Warbeck performance would have to be in Fulci's 'The Beyond'. Certainly, Warbeck was too talented to be appearing in junk like this.

See if you can spot the worst editing mistake in the history of film.

Hard To Swallow #2

2007-01-21T03:11:00.000-05:00

"I Spit On Your Grave" -aka- "Day of the woman"In the same vein as such films like Wes Craven's 1972 barbaric classic, 'Last House on the Left'', "I Spit on Your Grave' is a film that's hard to swallow. Like brussel sprouts, one either hates them or loves them. To be honest, films like these are kind of like dark chocolate. I know it's chocolate, but, it's just not quiet the same. The same can be said for films that are hard to swallow.
Anyway, "I Spit'' focuses on a female writer who eventually gets repeatedly gang raped by a bunch of hick locals. What ensues is a tale of revenge that will leave even the most jaded fans writhering in their chair.A repulsive little movie that eventually turns the tables and allows our victim to take revenge and ultimately sever some male genitals. Resorting to the demeaning of herself - lowering herself to confront these same men who raped her - our rape victim coaxes the men into believing she wants to have some more 'fun'. She eventually has her way and does away with her tormentors is grizzly fashion.Movie's like these have long since been swept under the celluloid rug, but, their cult status will remain the same. Whether the individuals who make up the fan base for such films lack in the morality department, well, I'm not one to say. I find myself watching quiet a few exploitation flicks. They really serve no purpose except to repulse and disturb us, but, if a movie can make us feel such sympathy for our victim and hatred for our villains, can they rightly be dismissed as exploitive trash?

Canadian Slashers #2

2007-01-18T23:39:00.000-05:00

'Silent Night Bloody Night' - No, not the 80's slasher flick that involves a crazy boy in a Santa suit.
I'm referring to one of the first proto slashers of its kind that would later set standards for the horror movie world - especially slasher films.

Wilfred Butler supposedly died thirty years ago, but someone has been making sinister phone calls to town officials claiming to be at the Butler house. The Butler house is to be sold by the present owner, Jeff Butler, which just so happens to be old man Wilfred Butler's grandson.

It seems as if a lot of macabre events went on at the Butler House - which was converted from an old asylum in which Wilfred's emotionally distraught daughter would reside. She would also become pregnant during this time.

A series of murders took place after the natives became restless and decided to turn on their tormentors - drunken doctors and nurses with eyes for gluttony and debauchery.

Sinister secrets from the Butler family have been locked away in the town folk's minds ever since Wilfred was burned alive on his farm thirty years before. It is sort of reminiscent of the Myer's house in Carpenter's Halloween - The demonic abode that had a persona all of its own. The house all kids dared their little brothers to step up on the front porch.

Anyway, Jeffrey's lawyer has everything settled with the town council to sell the house at a ridiculously low price of $50,000 . The lawyer seems to think it's worth $250,000 or more, but Jeff wants to hurry up and sell it. The town folk are happy to pay the low fee and set off to the bank for the cash.

In the mean time, an escaped lunatic from the towns mental facility is on the loose. Not only this, but the phone calls persist - the creepy voice on the other end of line coaxing our scared town council to the Butler house.

Is Wilfred Butler alive? Is he seeking revenge upon his grandson's selling of his estate? Whatever the case, this movie is one of the better slashers ever made. Released in 1973, Theodore Gershuny (director) delves deep into incestuous overtones, with a median of sickness and depravity laden atmosphere.

Our creepy phone calls might ring a bell. A year later, Bob Clark released the 1974 Canadian sleeper/slasher entitled 'Black Christmas' - about a sorority house harassed by sick phone calls while a killer is on the loose in town. I would have to imagine that Clark may have watched 'Silent Night Bloody Night' and used the phone calls as an outline for an entire film. Whatever the case, the phone calls in 'Black Christmas' may be a little more sinister and crazy, but SNBN did it first and with mucho effectiveness.

There's a dark and cold ambiance that seems to hover in the middle of the room. There's a certain err of gloom and doom that never leaves the screen. There's an infamous flashback scene involving the last minutes of the asylum that will take your breath away. Filmed in an eerie sepia toned color, the scenes of violence and perversion are escalated tremendously, giving the viewer one of those 'bite the knuckle' moments, as we're not sure we're actually getting things right.

With a narration during this scene, [from a letter Mr Butler had written in regards to why he decided to place his daughter in his asylum] everything finally comes together, although, we're not sure if we're right on the money until the very end.

One can't bring this movie up without mentioning the twist ending. Our heroine of the film is accompanied by Jeff Butler to the old Butler house. This is where Jeffrey finds out of his shaded past. One great climax to a film that did just as well throughout the first 75 minutes. The reveal is just as depraved as the rest of the film. We also find out slowly just who make up the town council as well.

There's more secrets and turns in SNBN than under your grandmother's dress. The feeling of isolation and sexual depravity always lingers about. There's more under the dress tail than meets the eye. Slowly, a tale darker than burnt toast unravels until we're finally let in on the little secret behind the Butler house and the town itself.

One sour note in regards to the film is the dark picture quality. In some parts, it can become frustrating to watch, but not too bad. If ever a film needs a total re-mastering, it's this one. I'd almost cut off my third nut for a special edition dvd release.

In a nutshell, SNBN is a film that shouldn't be missed by a horror fan - not just fans of slasher flicks. This movie delves deep in story with a twist of depravity to make us bite our tongues a bit. One of the better movies of the 70's.

Tidbit: Andy Warhol alumni can be seen in the flashbacks scene.

SOV delight

2007-01-15T23:57:00.000-05:00

This little 80's shot-on-video rarity somehow slipped through the gaping retail hole known as home distribution. 'Sledge Hammer' was actually one of the first sov ventures to either grace, or break our television screens. I guess it depends on how you look at it.

This flick is full of so much cheese that its total ineptness is manifested in obvious 'over'-lighting (now, there's something....I spend most of the time griping about under-lighting'), less than mediocre acting, a cheap sov look...everything one needs to make a high honkey pie.

We start out in that famous 'as a kid' scene where a young hot mom wants to get it on with her other lover. It seems as if those pesky kids get in the way every time, but Mom knows best and sees fit to lock her son in the closet until the deed is done. (If one didn't know better, they would swear they were watching an ultra low budget version of Uli Lommell's 'The Boogeyman' - Let's face it, 'The Boogeyman' was made on spare change found under Lommell's couch cushion anyway.)

Anyway, it was a mistake to lock the kid in the closet. He eventually gets out and brings a large sledgehammer with him - bashing mom's lover in the back of the head. He then offs mom in that maniacal off-screen fashion.

The now systematic scene of going ten years down the road to the same location where the murders took place ten years before, rings true in this little tape laden 'opus'. We're soon treated to watching a bunch of mullet wearing body builders pretend to be college kids. This alone makes it worth the wasted time.

I must confess that what ensues isn't really all the bad considering the whole film was shot on video, with the finished budget weighing in at $40,000. It's kind of like your fat smelly uncle. It makes you sick to smell him, but he's a lot of fun to have around.

If you like mullet sporting 30 somethings so baked by over tanning, and so worked over with face-lifts [that his face looks like plastic stretched over bone,] you'll get a grand kick out of 'Sledgehammer'.

It's kind of funny to see a blond muscle bound idiot treating his girlfriend like a possession while in a drunken stupor. We're treated to a very messy food fight, and a prank that involves rope, a fake hanging scene that makes absolutely no sense, a tape recorder, and a seance. I guess the add libbing and pointless slow motion camera shots weren't enough to fill the black void in between semi-action.

Finally, the spirit of the little kid (I guess, I have no clue if the seance brought him back or...) who turns into a grown man, back to a kid, back to a grown man, wears a see through plastic mask and looks like a geeked out version of the 'couch guy' from 'Half Baked'. To be honest, it's a pretty good disguise. What it all means, well, I couldn't tell you. Nevertheless, the killer looms around in the seemingly small house and picks the crew off one by one in over-lit bliss with his big ass sledgehammer.

This whole movie is one big ball of cheese....one big ball of atrocious fun that only a select few will appreciate. Throughout the whole movie, there's this 'happy' vibe going on. It's obvious that all of actors were amateurs that hammed up the experience of being in a slasher movie. Ted Prior (Director, David Priors bodybuilding playgirl centerfold brother) adds a sense of natural comedy that the movie so desperately needed.

In a nutshell, as a slasher film completest, I find myself putting myself through some cinematic torture now and again. Sitting through films like 'The Forest', ''Twisted Nightmare,'' Memorial Valley Massacre'' etc; makes it worthwhile - even when such a shitty movie as 'Sledgehammer' makes its way into my vcr. This is definitely my most guilt ridden pleasure.

For the slasher fan, its a very rare treat. If you can find a copy, I urge you to do so in its big box glorious fashion. I'm not sure if there's a dvd release as of yet, but I'm sure there will be one someday.

Hard to Swallow

2007-01-08T18:22:00.000-05:00

Some things are just hard to swallow. Even for the hardcore horror movie fan, some films teeter in between depravity and perversion. Of course, all horror films have one of the other, but when a film's sole purpose is to throw as much sleazy violence in the plate as possible, it become too much for some people to chew on.

"Last House on the Left" - One of the most disturbing movies I've ever seen. A rape/torture/revenge flick that serves us well in the end. This movie is the reason people die from erotic asphyxiation. If you're not depressed before watching this film, you'll be in a straight jacket afterwards. I literally became depressed for weeks after watching this again for the first time again in 1998. I'm still depressed.

"House on the Edge of the Park" - David Hess plays another rapist lunatic. He also has a sidekick...Giovanni Lombardo Radice. Both actors ham it up as disco loving fun timers using such words as 'boogie'.

We know what kind of person Alex (David Hess) is from the opening sequence. He just so happens to run a woman off the road and rape her inside her own car. There's already one point taken away for being mean. It's plain to see that Ricky (Alex's dimwitted friend) is just along for the ride. It's obvious that Alex has him around for self esteem issues, as Ricky is quiet the yes man towards Alex. Italian sleazemesiter Ruggero Deodato gives it to us in a gravy bowl. It looks and smells like 'Last House on the Left', but it's not as hard to swallow. Deodato tried to capture the complete and utter vile approach Craven delivered in 1972 - He almost succeeds, but not quiet.
Bald black women. Disco loving rapists. Slow minded individuals. Heads being repeatedly being beaten into poker tables. Beautiful romantic music being played during rapes scenes - This movie has a little bit of everything.

''New York Ripper'' - One of the most vile and disgustingly brutal movies ever made. Even big fans of the above two films have a hard time sitting all the way through this. Tit slicing, eye dicing, crotch gouging - You name it. This one is topped off with so much sleaze that Ron Jeremy would cry like a baby. This is the 'beer' of all things edible. It tastes like shit at first, but afterwards, it still tastes like shit. But you're able to drink a twelve pack... regardless.

Turkish Giallo

2007-01-06T13:38:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Justin Kerswell of Hysteria-Lives, we'll never own all the giallo films ever made.

"Thirsty For Love, Sex, and Murder"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwz-L4lSRoo

Killer Nerd Interview

2007-01-04T22:50:00.000-05:00

Some years back, I did an interview with the killer nerd himself, 'Toby Radloff. 'The Killer Nerd' movies aren't your every day average flicks. Radloff plays the vengeful geek in 'The Killer Nerd' and 'The Bride of the Killer Nerd'. Some may remember him from the 80's MTV generation as the nerd who loved White Castle hamburgers. Mmmmm...How he loves them so. I didn't know this until the interview, but Radloff appeared in a comic book as a character in Harvey Pekar's 80's autobiographical comic book 'American Splendor'.

'American Splendor' is now a film based on Pekar's life with Toby's character appearing in the movie - as well as Toby himself making a cameo.

Below is the interview that was conducted in 2003 for a now defunct website.

Toby Radloff Interview (Conducted 2003)

Lunchmeat:Toby, first off, I wanna say thanks for taking time to answer some of
my questions. Are you comfortable?

Toby:Yes, I am comfortable.

Lunchmeat: I have always heard of Harvey Pekar. He became popular for documenting his own life in the form of a comic book of the same name. He looks like your average Joe, but was ultimately banned from the David LEtterman show after making allegations about NBC's Parent Company General Electric. It wasn't known to me until seeing bits and pieces of the making of 'American Splendor' that I learned that you were actually a charcter is his comic books, and ultimately a co-worker of his. You also had another actor playing you. How did this feel, and what kind of experience was it working with Harvey, or being a part of it in general? Any anecdotes you would like to share?

Toby: I felt good about how the finished product of the film "American Splendor"
came out. I had known Harvey Pekar for 23 years, and have worked alongside him in the files unit of the Wade Park VA Medical Center in ClevelandHarvey retired almost two years ago, and his actual retirement party was documented at the end of the film. Judah Friedlander, who has done standup comedy and has appeared in small roles in several other films prior to "American Splendor", did an excellent job portraying me. We got together over dinner, then he studied my character by watching videos of my old MTV spots and low-budget films (Killer Nerd, Bride Of Killer Nerd, Townies), and we got together a couple of times on the set. Judah had my looks,
voice, and mannerisms down pat. At the rate of success (both critical and with audiences) that American Splendor is receiving, I wouldn't be surprised if the film picks up Golden Globe and Oscar nominations at the end of the year. Both Paul Giamatti and Judah Friedlander deserve to be nominated. I appeared in the film as well, as myself, including a scene where both me and Judah are together, as well as Harvey and Paul.

The combination of drama and documentary is done flawlessly in American Splendor. As for the comic books, I started appearing in Harvey's "American Splendor" comic books beginning with #9 in 1984. I tell Harvey my stories, he draws the stick figures, and his artist friends do the artwork. People who have seen the books liked my stories. Working with Harvey at the VA was a very good experience in an otherwise stressful work environment (at the time). Now, with most medical records computerized, stress is less common in the record room. Being in the film was a great experience for me, and I'm glad to be part of it. I traveled to the Sundance Film Festival in Utah last January for the world premiere-an awesome experience. In August I traveled with the Pekar family to Los Angeles and New York City for the premieres there, which went quite well. I also made special appearances at a couple of Cleveland area movie theaters shgowing the film, in which i signed posters and handed out "Genuine Nerd" buttons to the filmgoers. So far, everyone who's seen the film loved it, and I have gotten great compliments for my appearance in the film. American Splendor is going to go a long way.

Lunchmeat:For the 80's generation, some may remember you from MTV as portraying the Genuine Nerd'. How did you get to be part of these segments? Wasn't Wayne A. Harold responsible for producing some of these segments?

Toby: In 1987, shortly after Harvey Pekar started appearing on "Late Night With David Letterman", an MTV crew from New York came to the VA record room to do a story about Harvey. Harvey introduced the crew to me, and as a result, I started appearing on several segments on "MTV News" and "Week In Rock". The first "Genuine Nerd" spots were released to coincide with the upcoming theatrical release of "Revenge Of The Nerds II-Nerds In Paradise". I appeared in a few other segments in which I discussed White Castle hamburgers (how I love them), as well as some holiday-themed segments. In the summer of 1988, Harvey and I appeared at a Superman convention in downtown Cleveland (Superman was introduced by two Clevelanders, Joe Siegel and Jerry Shuster) in the 1930's, and the Superman convention (a large comic book/horror/sci-fi/movie expo) was supposed to raise money to build a Superman statue in Clevelend-however, the event ended up in the red (despite a rib burnoff and an Indians-Yankees game that same day-a lot of people were downtown that weekend), and the statue was never built, and the sponsor, a comic book store, was forced into bankruptcy. However, at the convention, Harvey and I, talking in a hallway after another group took our assigned room, met Wayne Harold and Mark Bosko for the first time. MTV was looking for a local crew to film the segments, and Wayne and Mark (who were in the main business of producing TV commercials for local businesses to air on cable TV) shot several MTV spots that aired in 1988 and 1989. After the MTV spots ended, Wayne and Mark went on to shoot "Killer Nerd".

Lunchmeat: Your portrayal in 'Killer Nerd' was one of the strangest performances I have ever seen. I mean this in a good way of course. You're somewhat of a mystery to me. Do you really consider yourself a nerd in real life? Does being a nerd have its advantages? Drawbacks?

Toby: Being in "Killer Nerd" was a great experience for me, however, acting in a movie was a lot different than shooting an MTV spot, and there were things I had to get used to, including doing multiple takes and working late at night on some scenes. Still, the finished product ended up looking good, and "Killer Nerd" was a modest success saleswise. As for myself, I have always considered myself a nerd. I am smart. I was picked on and harassed back in junior high school, because I didn't fit in to any "cliques". I later embraced my differences, and started ignoring my harassers. I don't get any negative flak over my being a nerd, and I've felt proud of my being a nerd for well over 30 years now. Especially with "American Splendor" in the theaters now, I get lots of compliments over my portrayal, as well as my being part of this film. As for "Killer Nerd", I would never kill anyone in real life-this is basically a dark story of a put down nerd, "Harold Kunkle", taking revenge on his tormentors-by killing them after he is beaten up in an alley by two of those tormentors. Still, it's only a movie-and a movie that's now considered a "camp classic".

Lunchmeat: Wayne A Harold,, has directed or co-directed most of the films you've acted in,(KILLER NERD- BRIDE OF KILLER NERD-TOWNIES) dis-including 'American Splendor'. What's he like to work with? Doyouever go out drinking with him and JR. Bookwalter? I bet they make you pick you the tab, eh?

Toby: Wayne is a very cool person to work with. He assists me with lines and makes sure that his films come out well. I find it very easy to work with him. Wayne and I went out to eat a few times, but never drank (I don't drink alcohol.) BTW, the meals are usually carryout pizza, and Wayne pays for it.

Lunchmeat: There is an upcoming documentary featuring you as the subject entitled 'Genuine Nerd'. This too is directed by Wayne A. Harold. How did it feel to have the camera's with you everywhere you went? Was it frustrating? Can you give us a little more information on this project? What should we expect?

Toby: I don't see any problem with this documentary. Again, Wayne is very easy
and very patient to work with, and I am used to being in the camera's eye. After the success of "American Splendor", Wayne felt that a documentary on me needed to be done. I have worked with Wayne for over 15 years now, and I had a lot to say. I'm basically telling it like it is. The documentary will come out well, and give me additional exposure.

Lunchmeat: Just exactly what do you do when you're not behind the camera? Do you
have
an every-day job like most nerds, or do you spend your time harassing
the locals out of boredom?

Toby: I still work at the VA, but I drive a van now, delivering medical records and other items to various VA facilities throughout Northeast Ohio. I love my present job. I spend my free time either going to movies, taking road trips, and spending time on the Internet.

Lunchmeat: Michelle Sibits (your co-star CRAZY CONNIE in 'TOWNIES) was a really off the wall charcter. I honestly didn't know she had a wig on. Wild stuff! Did you two do any 'off-screen' rehearsals, because you two seemed to click so well on-screen? And also, what was the rest of the cast like to work with?

Toby: I only met Connie once or twice-the only time we saw each other is when we were shooting. She's in interesting person to work with.

Lunchmeat: Being a native of Cleveland, and being a star of locally made films, I'm sure that you're quiet the celebrity in your neighborhood. Do you get approached alot as being 'that nerd' from that 'low budget horror flick'? What does your family think of your infamous 'Nerd' status?

Toby: I have been approached over the years about "Killer Nerd" and "Bride of Killer Nerd". They keep asking me where they could get copies of the movies, which were out of print for several years, but were reissued a year or so ago by Troma. My family and relatives are glad that I'm in the movies-I look more for exposure than money. but more money certainly helps. And "American Splendor"'s success will most certainly find new audiences for my earlier films. They love my successes in film.

Lunchmeat :Do you ever find that you have viciously became caught in the web of 'type-casting'? Being a self professed nerd really doesn't leave you many other options. If I were you, I'd be doing some heavy ass-kissing
toward Wayne Harold or JR Bookwalter. Of course I'm just kidding, but I'm sure you you've experienced the dreaded typecast-syndrome.

Toby: I don't worry about typecasting. I'm just being myself-a nerd. If Hollywood comes knocking on the door as a result of my "American
Splendor" apprearance, as well as my appearances in the earlier films, I would be glad to see what they have to offer. But I'm not quitting my day job yet.

Lunchmeat: Are you pretty much loyal to Wayne and Lurid Productions, or are you pretty much free to obtain other roles as they are offered, or are you sort of legally binded with Wayne in any way?

Toby: I am loyal to Wayne and Lurid. I have a permanent presence on the Lurid.com web site. I am not under any legally binding contract with Wayne; we work together because we are good friends.

Lunchmeat: Are you a real life fan of bizzare cinema, or is it just business? If so, you must have a few favorite horror films lingering around somewhere. If so, besides the ones you've acted in, which are your favorites, and why?

Toby: I love all kinds of weird films, especially old indie films dealing with nerds, high school kids, "trailer trash", and other weird stuff...this stuff beats out most major-studio Hollywood garbage ten times over. I would pick
out 100 Killer Nerds instead of one Gigli...if you know what I mean. Independent film is where it's at-in the past, now, and always. Rarely does a major studio put out a halfway decent film anymore. I am not much into horror, but I do like bizarre stuff...one DVD I watched recently was a low budget "stinker" called "Monsturd"...about a giant bowel movement monsterthat terrorizes a town-very funny but very weird. I also saw a DVD documentary about overweight porn star Ron Jeremy. As I said, I love weird films.

Lunchmeat: Have you ever been dissapointed with any of your performances after you see the finished product, or is everything pretty much cut and dry while you're watching it? I could never watch my own films for fear of looking like an idiot. Are you a big fan of your own films or do you shun the mere thought of them?

Toby: So far, I have been happy with the way I'm portrayed in my films. I love watching them over and over again-just because I'm in them. I already saw "American Splendor" 10 times, and "Killer Nerd" is approaching cult classic status.

Lunchmeat: Have you ever thought of stepping on the other side of the camera and trying your luck at directing? What genre' film would you like to make if the possibility arose? Another off-beat horror-comedy, a drama, an all out horror film, documentary..ect...

Toby:I have thought about it at times, but at the time, I am so busy with other things, that I don't really have the time or frame of mind to direct a film. If I end up a director, Wayne would most likely be there to assist me. It's still a pipe dream to me, to direct a film.

Lunchmeat: Tell us about 'Abberation Boulevard'. Looking forward to seeing the finished product? What should we expect?

Toby: In "Aberration Boulevard", I play a carnival freak who lives with other carnival freaks in a home in Schlarb, Ohio,during the off season. I play a character named "Corky", who has a diaper fetish. In one scene, I hire a teenage prostitute and pay her to "change my diaper". I even cry like a baby and have a pacifier in my mouth in this scene. Again, I am looking forward to the finished product.

Lunchmeat: DVD or VHS?

Toby: Wayne will most likely release "Aberration Boulevard" in both formats, although the DVD will have extras.

Lunchmeat: Nintendo, X-Box, or Playstation? Or are you still playing 'Pong?'
(laughs)

Toby: I used to own an Atari 2600, but now am not much into video games. I do play video games on my computer. I have almost every Atari game ever released on CD-Rom for my computer-bought it at a computer show last year.

Lunchmeat:Any other Toby Radloff news you would like to share before we close?
Any future projects we haven't covered?

Toby: Not really...most of the current media coverage involving me are tied to
"American Splendor". The film continues to do well, and could end up
winning nominations for Golden Globes and Oscars. As for wayne, he has
other unnamed projects in the works, that he would love to have me do. Only
time will tell.

Lunchmeat: And last but not least....in three words, describe what kind of
experience it has been doing what you do!

Toby: Fun, enjoyable, exciting.

Lunchmeat: Toby, I wanna thank you for taking time to answer some of my questions.

Toby: Thanks very much. Keep in touch.

Critters Box Set

2007-01-01T22:56:00.000-05:00

Here's the 'Critters' Box set that was released in Hungary - no doubt, Region 2. I'd almost buy it for the hell of it.

Dr Loomis in In.

2007-01-01T22:24:00.000-05:00

According to the new hype, Malcom McDowell is cast for the role of Dr Loomis.

What to think of this new 'Halloween' remake? I loved The Devil's Rejects - One of the truest 70's style horror/exploitations we've had in a very long time. I'm hyped about it.

You can visit this site for more information on this, as well on anything else horror related.

http://www.esplatter.com

I can trust her! She's fat!

2007-01-01T17:49:00.000-05:00

I could probably bring up the name Marian Waldman to a lot of people, and they would ask me just who in the hell she was. You know? Mrs Mac? The lewd alcoholic who hides her stash in anything from encyclopedias to toilets. Does this ring a bell? 'Black Christmas?' The drunken house mother for our bunch of telecommunicated stalked sorority girls? Oh, now you see.

Marian Waldman (better known as 'pookie' to people who were close to her) was a short little tart - 5ft3 - sassy and big boned - unashamed to go all out in her movie acting performances. Watching the original 'Black Christmas over the holidays became something of a learning experience. Not only did Marian Waldman tickle my fancy as our deranged house mother in Black Christmas - the foul mouthed drunkard who thinks the sorority girls would sit on the leaning tower of piza if they 'could get it up there' - she also played another off the wall character in Jeff Gillen's 1974 release of 'Deranged' - a story loosely based off the grisly findings at Ed Gein's farm in the 1950's -and- written by Canadian screenwriter Alan Ormsby.

In 'Deranged', Maureen Selby (Marian Waldman) is a widow with a complex. She talks to her dead husband. Chocolate is her one true vice''dammit!'' She's even more eccentric than in Black Christmas - and is just fun to watch. A very good character actor who should have gotten more roles.

Our main character in Deranged (Ezra Cobb - played wonderfully by Roberts Blossom, most notable as the old man in Home Alone) was having one last discussion with his mama while on her death bed. While feeding her pea soup, she drew close to him and gave his some motherly advice. Maureen Selby (Marian Waldman) was a friend of Ezra's mother. [Maureen] somewhere along the line had struck some points with Ezra's mom. She is explained to Ezra as being a trustworthy person. She won't break his heart like all those other ''sluts'' and ''whore's'. She's a fat heifer that won't steer him wrong. . Ezra could trust her... She's fat. It's made clear that fat women are more trustworthy - and she makes Ezra vow to hook up with her and eventually marry her. After all, he can trust her. She's fat.

When he finally meets our eccentric lady, he takes a liking, and discusses her big legs and her big round belly with his exhumed and rotting mother. (I forgot to mention that by this point, Ezra has exhumed his moms body and placed her back in bed. He talks to her quiet often) He thinks he should take a gun on his little excursion - just in case he gets lost in all that 'fat'. I'm dead serious here.

Ezra goes to formally meet her a second time - This time, Maureen has on a blond wig, where she and Ezra are to have a seance. They get into the groove and Maureen becomes all hot and bothered at the supposed manifestation of her dead husband - (which coincidently gives Ezra the permission to make her a woman again.) In other words, Maureen's dead husband (through Maureen) gives Ezra permission to give Miss Selby a good poking.

You get the picture. Waldman does her thing again, and comprises numerous personalities to fit her well rounded role. She is definitely one of the most underrated actresses of the 70's. Sadly, she passed away back in the mid 80's from eating herself to death. Of course, I'm kidding. I wish we could have seen more from her. She appeared in a few other movies (one being a made for television movie) but not much else. It would be suffice to say that she probably did a lot of stage work in between her movie career and trips to McDonalds.

I'd love to own a Mrs Mac action figure.

Alienator

2006-12-31T15:49:00.000-05:00

When does a once famed television actor know his career is over? When he appears as a drunken 'Commander' in a Fred Olan Ray movie. Long before 'Celebrity Boxing' or 'Dancing With the Stars', there were less elaborate ways to tell the world your career was over.

I couldn't resist the title. A play on Ridley Scott's 'Alien' and Arnold Whats-his-face's character, 'The Terminator'. Not only this, we have the once sober Jan Michael Vincent heading the cast - with his insert firmly planted in the middle of the back of the box, just above the blurb. He has his same, slicked back, and parted in the middle hairstyle - dressed in black and carrying a very fake looking gun. This is exactly what b-movie heaven consists of. I was only in the first realms of heaven, but after realizing this was a Fred Olan Ray production, I quickly elevated myself towards 7th Heaven.

"It's a futuristic fight to the finish when the commander of a space station prison (Jan Michael Vincent) takes on galactic arch villain Kol. (Ross Hagen) When Kol escapes, on the verge of execution, the commander has no choice but to unleash the Alienator - a ruthless android hunter with one unstoppable purpose: terminate Kol at any cost!

Kol's shuttle crashes on earth and the injured alien is befriended by Armstrong (John Phillip Law). But the Alienator is hot on his trail. She's determined to capture her prey - even if it means blowing away everything and everyone, that gets in her way."

What can I say? I love this movie. It's a complete waste of ninety minutes. We'll never get those minutes back, but isn't it worth it to see a drunk Jan Michael Vincent slur his lines in elaborate fashion?

Fred Olan Ray is the disputed king of low budget film making. Some people love him. Some people despise him. Whatever the case, he never takes himself too seriously, but he never uses the parody angle unless he really has to. 'Alienator', for the most part, takes itself as serious as a much bigger budgeted film. I don't think the crew even realized they were on a peanuts production that would be hitting the video shelves soon after. If they did, they simply didn't mind. Cheesy dialog. Cheesy costumes - Guns and weapons that looked like my nephews Nerf guns. It's all filmed with spaghetti strings and scotch tape, but I'll be damned if this matters.

Ex-female wrestler and bodybuilder, Teagan - looks like a cross between a female KISS groupie and Andre the Giant's love child. She sports a very skimpy two piece 'space suit', and tops a blond wig that makes Vince Neil's style look tame. I guess platinum blond hair and a Paul Stanley star around the eye constitutes being extraterrestrial.

I guess aliens don't have to worry about little things like gravity, or, do they? Kol, our galactic villain is ran over by a group of people traveling to their cabin in a winnebego. I guess the large band-like thingamajig around Kol's neck or silver space suit never set off any warning signs. They all agree to take him to the cabin and call for help. While there, the crew learns of what's happening. It's evident that a cruel and evil space prison commander has summoned the Alienator to do his bidding - whether or not earth as everyone knows it is destroyed in the process. Why should the commander care? He doesn't live on earth anyway. It's the equivalent of blowing up an entire house to kill one rat.

Even if you really don't like sci-fi films, 'Alienator' still has enough 80's cheese and charm to fill all the nooks and crannies. There a tacked on twist ending that will either make you shit and giggle, or fart and wriggle. If all this doesn't tickle your interests, watch it to feel sorry for Jan Michael Vincent or 80's scream queen PJ Soles. You'll be wondering how or why these people chose to capture their roles. It surely wasn't for the money. I guess some people really do have to eat - or - in Vincent's case, buy booze. I guess it WAS for the money.

Canadian Slashers #1

2006-12-30T21:51:00.000-05:00

Video Blurb:
Prom Night' is a teenage thriller set in a big city high school. Kim (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Nick (Casey Stevens) will be crowned Queen and King of the Prom and the excitement is evident. But a number of subplots threaten to disrupt the celebrations of the evening and eventually turn it into a night of horror.''

Doesn't sound too bad. Wrong. I don't hate this movie, but honestly, it's one of the more boring and dated entries in the slasher department. We start off with a now systematic scene involving a group of very young kids. They're playing a twisted version of tag that involves one kid being the victim and the remaining kids being the 'killers'. (Not that kids playing twisted tag is systematic, but the 'accident 10 years earlier' thingy)

A tall lanky, little girl runs throughout the corridors of the building, hiding from her pursuers as they chant (simultaneously) ,"The Killers are coming!". Finally, the little girl gets cornered by this group of devilish children and accidentally falls two stories from a window. We really wouldn't have a movie unless the kids decide to cover up her death and keep quiet the fact they taunted her until she fell. It's not as big of a secret as these kids think. Just as they speed away on their bicycles, a little boys foot steps into view. Yes, he knows what happened.

Just as one might have guessed, we go down the road eight/ten years. It's the day of the Prom. All is well, but we get quick edits to an unseen killer - marking out pictures of random kids an a high school year book with a tube of lipstick - Making eerie phone calls. Could it be the little boy that steps into frame to reveal that somebody knows?

There's not much to discuss in between. A few strange things happen. Jamie Lee gets spooked along with a couple other students. There's actually some hint of character development, giving prelude to the fact that Kim has an arch rival ,who'll evidently befriend a greaser punk just to use him for revenge against her. We almost get a ''Carrie'' subplot, which was basically a slap in the face if you ask me.

There's a good fight scene. We get a little comical relief in the form of a fat tub of lard who calls himself 'Slick'. He likes his herb and thinks he's John Travolta with the women. (Not that Travolta likes women) He does gain a few points for keeping his marijuana stash in an American History book. Aside from this, he drives a van!

Aside from a few comical sequences and a couple red herrings, there's not really much to report about. We do, however, get treated to the same disco song in a Jamie Lee's dance scene (for what seems like an hour) - and a half way decent fight scene involving Kim's brother (Alex) and the greaser punk I mentioned earlier.

The killer's choice of attire is less than to be desired. A black jumpsuit, accompanied by a boggin and giallioesque black gloves. He DOES like to use an axe, tho. To be honest, I don't know if the reveal of the killer was as plain as day or not. It may be just be me, but the whole film seemed like it was edited by a six year old.

Conclusion: The first of a series that would spawn three sequels. The first two sequels delve into the supernatural realm, while the fourth installment delves back into the straight slasher department. For the slasher completest, 'Prom Night' has got to be in the collection. It's as dated as you can get - but, sadly, it's worth it for the slasher cheese it feeds us.

Truth or Dare: and the Remake

2006-12-30T17:32:00.000-05:00

Two days before the new year. I wonder what 2007 will bring us? More remakes of cinematic classics? Less originality than we already have?

I've come not expect much in future years. After all, I've read text-books written in the 60's that foresee a 1990's world where humans will be doing the bidding of robots, not the other way around. Whatever the case, it's suffice to say that most of the world has lost its originality. When looking back on my favorite things of the past, two things come to mind; Scary flicks and old school Metallica. As I do a total inventory on my life, I've sadly realized that not too many things have excited me over the years. I guess high expectations met with very low manifestations have caused this. Who knows? The thing is, the past really holds nothing for me.

Well, I take that back. A third of my waking life has had one foot in past tense, the other in the now. I've very rarely thought about the future, and it's really official to say that I probably never will. (on a grand scale)

I've come to the end conclusion that if watching nostalgic films from my youth brings me happiness, so-be-it. If sitting on my couch in my spare time, with an old vhs tape whizzing in my vcr gives me shits 'n giggles, so-be-it.

As my subtext, not very many things can tickle my fancy. Leaning back on cinema, (especially w films produced these days) just don't cut it. If looking forward to an original horror film these days was a protagonist to my well being, I'd be a sick man. I'd be waiting once or twice a year just to get half a high anyway. Why switch to a different drug when the drug you've been getting high on for years still does the trick?

I can think of about ten films throughout my childhood and teenage years that have made lasting impressions on me - Films that the memory thereof strike a chord withing the neocortex. A lot of classic films have lead me to where I'm at now in regards to my movie going experiences. One of the films that ranks on my totem pole of balls to the wall gruesomeness and gore is a 1986 no-budget shocker called 'Truth or Dare: A Critical Madness''.

Looking back, very few experiences have I remembered as I do the first time watched 'Truth or Dare'. I was no more than nine at the time. From that tender young age, I was never able to find another copy of this flick. Not until recently have I been able to sit down to viewings on my on time. My mother-in-law actually picked this movie up for my wife and I for a dollar - with the original vhs artwork - still in great shape.

Mike Strauber is an unstable business man. He comes home in his gold Trans-Am and finds his wife in the bed with her boss. Of course, Mike doesn't take this lightly, going on a spree that would leave carnage and absolute destruction in his wake. Kids being violently ran over. An old women being battered with a mid-evil style mace. Old men being dared to cut off their hands while screaming in agony. A retarded guy being dared to stick a live grenade in his mouth.

Tim Ritter (director) was on nineteen years old when this movie was released. I would imagine that his main objective was to pile as much carnage, gore, and sheer violence into one film as he possibly could. I'm not sure of any subtext (if any). Ninety minutes of nothing but scenes of mayhem - Strauber going in and out of mental facilities, each time, being released in worse shape than before.

Tim Ritter obviously knew that during the time this film was released, the video market was a gold mine. I'm not sure about 'Truth or Dare', but even straight to video movies could sometimes gross millions. Jumping on the STV bandwagon has proven to be a career for Tim Ritter.

I got in touch with Tim a few days ago. He was kind enough to answer some of my questions about some of his films. One thing that really surprised me was he stating that a remake for 'Truth or Dare: A Critical Madness' is well underway. He stated that it was an almost sure fire thing, and that one day, we'll be seeing a modern day version of the 80's cheesy-shock-fest. I've never been excited to see a remake (except for Zombie's Halloween remake), but I can't wait for this one to come into fruition.

Here's the MySpace page for the upcoming remake: (copy and paste in address bar)
Http://www.MySpace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.profile&friendID=42260806

Here's the url for Tim Ritter's official website:

http://www.timritter.com

2006-12-25T18:52:00.000-05:00

In recent times, I've come to somewhat of a conclusion about a horror movie hero of mine. Of course, Tom Savini is everyone's hero, but for a lot of people, Savini is a prick. Sorry to be so blunt. I could have used some of the other words people who have visited him at conventions have used. I was taken aback by one of the articles I read about him on dontdatehimgirl.com - (Look it up)
I've heard first hand accounts from women who have blatantly called him "sleaze buckets'', ''bastards'' , ''womanizing creeps'' - And this is putting it lightly. Now, whether or not Savini is either of these things is irrelevant. Of course, when it comes to our favorite horror movies, the truth is stone, and the stone says that Savini is a legend (a fallen legend, maybe). The one thing I do not agree with is Tom's alternate personalities. From my experiences, one minute Tom is a nice guy who's willing to share a story he shared eighteen million times. At other times, he seems distant and simply acts like he doesn't even want to be at conventions.

I understand Tom's been in the business for a long time - answering the same fifteen questions over and over and over and over, but I've got a few words for Tom: "Suck it up, sucka!" The convention goers pay your ticket. They put food on your table and allow you to be a washed up f/x guy from the 80's.
While a ''washed up f/x guy from the 80's'' isn't a polite way to describe Tom Savini, let's try to stick to the truth as much as possible.

It's 1985 - Tom Savini is at the pinnacle of his career. He's finished work on some of the most mind numbing prosthetic special f/x ever constructed - which are seen is George Romero's 'Day of the Dead'. He just stepped out of the box with Romero's 'Dawn of the Dead, into the filthy 80's - with Sean Cunningham's 'Friday the 13th'. There's a slew of other slasher films on the horizon - ''Maniac'', ''The Prowler'',''' 'The Burning'' - leading up to his reprisal as f/x man in Joseph Zito's supposed last installment in the Friday the 13th series -''The Final Chapter'.

Savini is on a roller coaster ride. Money, women, more gigs than he could shake his stick at. Rounding the corner from his last Friday the 13th job, he lands make up f/x guy on 'Day of the Dead' - rounding the corner and heading almost straight into Tobe Hooper's complete opposite sequel,'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2''. (Which is my top 5, btw)

Tom's burning the midnight oils. Gaining gig after gig, keeping the partnership and friendship alive with George Romero. Even going into Romero's lackluster sleeper,'Monkey Shines', all is good in the world of Tom Savini. He's on top of the world. The computer generation has yet to burst into full bloom, but the slasher and gore craze WAS dying down, and so was Tom Savini's credits.

Over the past fifteen years, I'd be really hard pressed to find a worthy credit with Savini's name attached. Does 'Bloodsucking Pharaoh's in Pittsburgh'' constitute a notable hand in the cookie jar? I'd hardly think so. "Killing Zoe' and ''From Dusk 'Til Dawn''. - We'll let these two be his reprisal of sorts - living the life he lead in his 80's pinnacle, but only for a short time.

'Sex Machine',while hardly a bad character, is nevertheless a character in one of the bigger and most popular movies of the nineties, 'From Dusk Til Dawn'. Whether it gives room for greatness is another story, although, you have some fans who thinks 'Sex Machine' is pure and simply ''the shit''. They may be right. I'm not a big fan of Tarantino, so, a biased judgment would probably hinder my thoughts on 'Sex Machine' and his fabled 'cult' status'.

The more posts I type, the more it seems as if this blog is a catalyst to bash people. This isn't the case. For the most part, if Tom Savini wants to fornicate and have illegitimate children, thats fine by me. People have sex and one of the consequences of sex is children. Those pesky kids! Every time I visit Tom's page, there's a new addition to the family. Before you know it, Tom's going to have all the Universal monsters running around in his home, with all the damsels of distress coming to pick them up on Sunday. Just joshing,Tom.

My main objective for this post isn't to dwell on Savini's faults. Lord knows, I have my faults. I do things that would make Tom cringe. If I were to tell him what's on my mind, he'd surely never bring himself to sit in front of a table with pictures of himself on it again. He'd call it quits for good. My main objective is to blurt about Tom's lack of interest when it comes to fans.

Tom is human. I understand this. He gets shit pains like everyone else. I'm not going to mention child support payments. He gets sad, angry, and even horny when he sees a barely 18 yr old girl swoon in his presence. Human, indeed.

All this aside, it's time for Tom to just call it quits if he can't tolerate the public. I know that if I don't like my job, it's not my customers fault. (Although, I truly don't have customers, per-se, but client el. See, I'm even ahead of Tom. Of course, I'm kidding)

If he's burned out on 'How did you stick the arrow through Kevin Bacons neck in 'Friday the 13th'' or ''How did you rip Rhodes in half in 'Day of the Dead?', it's just time to stop. Stop lowering yourself by appearing in movies such as ''Zombiegeddon''. Can any good become of a film where one of the characters involved is a satire on Jesus Christ? People can say Savini's career is as good as it ever was....Let me correct you! "Wake up sucka!" - Anyone who appears in Zombiegeddon isn't living his/her dreams, I'll tell you that.

It seems to me that the real world has forgotten about Tom. I've been lead to believe that Tom won't go WGA. If so, it's his own fault he has no legit gigs. All the muck and mire still won't sway my opinion on Tom in regards to his cinematic work. Some of his work is, and will always remain 'unbeatable'- although, there's many better works out there than Tom's 'mediocre' works. If that makes sense.

Bottom line: If you don't like kids running around in awe of you, give it up. If you can't take one last teenager in Manson make-up calling you 'God', give it up. Find a different career. You're 60 now. It's time to take it easy and sip on Iced Tea with the rest of the crew at Shady Pines.

Like I said, I love Tom, but he needs to become more tolerant of the public. I'm not saying he's an asshole at every convention, but in situations like this, when you agree to take the job, it's not your time anymore, it's the fans. Don't tread on the fans.

Does Tom deserve this kind of rhetoric? Rhetoric can be defined as what occurred throughout this thread, or, Rhetoric can be defined in Tom's case as ''Are you going to buy the damn picture or not?"

It sound as if I particularly believe all the rumors. To tell you the truth, all the rumors spread by women are probably false. Well, not all of it. He probably did hit and run, but it sure wasn't rape. I'm sure there were no special promises either - only promises these women conceived in their own demented minds. So, with a hint of siding with Tom, I'll do it. I'll step across the fence and say that there will certainly never be another one. Another Tom Savini, that is. I never said anything about another illegitimate child.

Class reunion Massacre

2006-12-24T17:38:00.000-05:00

"This third thumb is great for party gags."

''Teee-Heee. Uhh.... I was just....uh...fooling around with your make up kit."

"Examine your soul. It's to blame for the body's evil ways! It's the soul that pays!" Evidently, The Redeemer was conditioned by an elite group of murdering priests - hellbent on taking matters into their own hands.

A vigilante priest. A religious man fed up with immorality. A man calling himself 'The Redeemer' - Spouting out moralistic rhetoric with clinched fist and sweaty forehead. A killer. A murderer. A man who murders coincidently with their 'evil' deeds MANY years before Kevin Spacey did it in Se7EN.

What am I talking about amidst all the mumbo jumbo? I'm talking about a 1976 proto-slasher that did a lot of this first.

'The Redeemer: Son of Satan!" - which was later released on video as 'Class Reunion Massacre'....

Even before 'Prom Night', this movie depicts some unknown specter cutting up year book pictures of his future victims. He later puts together a faux class reunion in which our soon-to-be's are invited to attend this class reunion at their old high school.

Before all murders start to happen, and before we even go near the school gates, the victims are given some screen time - sort of a teaser of why these people (in The Redeemer's eyes) deserve their impending dooms by his grizzly hands.

A lawyer, a lesbian (gasp!), a vain movie actor, a supposed 'harlot', a woman who likes to shoot pigeons for sport, a glutton - These people comprise the faux class reunion with no clue of their impending doom.

To give a film a review in the state of mind I'm in right now would not constitute fairness, so therefore, I'll shy away from piecing everything together in order. I'll stray from one side of the field to the other and cover a multitude of random scenes that will pretty much tie any loose strings that would otherwise be evident in a full review.

A boy rises from a quarry - fist raised in air as in some triumphant stance. Ok. The same kid (whose clothes dry really fast) soon catches a church bus that takes him to what looks to be a small baptist church.

It just so happens that the kid is a member of the choir, and that a lot of his peers seem to dislike him for some reason. The kid never speaks a word, but endures a bully who confronts him with the dull blade of a knife.

Cut to: Rabid preacher. He's doing his daily fire and brimstoning - while wonderful edits gives us glimpses of the Redeemers sinning six. Most seem like normal people, with one thing in common - They all seem to have problems like everyone else, and are all invited to their tenth year high school reunion.

Upon arriving, there's no cars. No one except our ill fated six.

They quickly catch up on old times and make their way into the school.

What follows is quiet original in regards to the slasher film. It's kind of like a 'Ten Little Indians' rendention, but with a lot of added gloom and doom. They make their way into the cafeteria where an elaborate set up of food, music, and disco balls awaits them. Everyone is wondering where all their ex classmates are, but the glutton is mezmerized by all the food - "Who cares! Let's eat!"

He grubs his greasy little hands into the banquet, testing out everything from whipped cream to oysters. Wondering why no one has arrived, John the lawyer tries to call the owner of the seemingly abandoned school. There just so happens to be a pay phone that actually works. He reaches the operator, but then the lines go dead.

They make their way back to the cafeteria where everyone is having a seemingly good time. 'The Harlot' wants to go outside for some reason. She tries to find the janitor who let them in before. (which was actually the redeemer in disguise. He just so happened to kill the real janitor and place is body face first on a desk.)

They finally catch on that the real janitor is dead when they find him with maggots coming from his gunshot wound.Everything comes together when they realize they're locked inside the old school with no way out. One can guess what happens next.

Or crazed preacher roams the school, killing each of the remaining victims in disguises that fit their supposed immorality. A clowns mask for the supposed make-up wearing harlot. A suit and tie for the lawyer - sporting a gun. A made up thespian on the schools stage for our conceited actor that involves a large sword through the head. A hunters uniform and a shotgun for our woman who likes to kill live birds. The glutton gets fried (or baked) like all the junk he stuffs down his throat. We don't get to see what happens to the lesbian. I guess he brutalized that carpet munching lezzi so much that the censors wouldn't allow it. Who knows.

One things for sure, you'll never see another movie quiet like 'Class Reunion Massacre'. An errie feel throughout the whole movie keeps one on the edge, not knowing what's going to happen next - Gloom and doom by the truck load - A sinnister haze seems to infiltrate the viewing space.

This particular film did a lot of things first. It deserves more credit than it got, and I'm happy to see that there's an upcoming dvd release of this with loads of features. (Maybe)

I've actually spoken with TG Finkbinder (The Redeemer) many times, conducting two interviews along the way. The most recent interview can be found on this great slasher site:

http://www.hysteria-lives.co.uk - Just click the interviews section.

In a nutshell, this is one of the better slashers ever made. I think the whole immorality tale turns people away. Many, after finally watching it a few times more, find it to be an absolutely wonderful little slasher. You will too.

2006-12-23T21:48:00.000-05:00

This question has been burning heavily within my twisted psyche as of late. I finally had the pleasure of actually sitting down and watching the 'Killer Extras' dvd that comes with the Friday the 13th box set. One thing that I noticed right off the bat was everyones willingness to talk. Most of the participants interviewed seemed to hold their Friday' status with semi-high regards.

It was a welcomed pleasure to see a now aged Betsy Palmer talk about her stint as machete carrying psycho-mama. I giggled at the Friday 3 commentary. Larry Zerner (Shelly) has certainly changed in appearance, but his voice and jolly attitude are unmistakable. I was thrilled to see a few of Jason's victims speak about their experience of actually being maimed by one of cinema's most horrific made men.

While a lot of the extras are great, there were still a lot of loose ends. I still think there could have been more interviews or a commentary here or there. Aside from wrangling up a review for the whole box-set, I'll get to why I was so bothered by the whole thing. It's not a bother in the carnal sense, but more of an annoyance. I've always considered Warrington Gillette Jason. His 'performances' in Friday the 13th part 2 has always been amongst my favorites (with CJ Graham from part six stealing the prize), but not until recently, have I found out that the ONLY scene Warrington Gillete was in was the scene where a deformed Jason crashes through the window.

Well, if Gillette didn't do the remaining scenes, who did? Steve Dash (short for Daskawsiz) did. In almost every scene where Jason sports the pillow case, it's Steven Dash. Why Warrington Gillette got credit as playing Jason is beyond me. What really bummed me out was the fact that Gillette went on and on about how tough of a shoot it was. If one didn't know better, they would have thought he was present throughout the entire shoot!

I think it would have been a manly gesture to admit that he primarily only did one major stunt throughout the entire film. He gilded the lily enough to not actually admit he was a one stunt wonder, fooling the best of us with piling on the icing real thick. I would imagine that Gillette has used his Jason status in a lot of places. There was even one magazine article on him sometime back that read, 'Jason Goes To Wal Street '. There's also his own personal website - Jason2kills.com that shows him holding a platter with someones severed head on it. It seems as if our ex-Jason is now some sort of Wal Street big whig - severing monetary investments and decapitating inside trading.

This post may sound like a 'Warrington Gillete Bashing Page', but I assure you, the Gillete Bashing Headquarters is located at the home of Steven Dash. To be honest, I'd be mad myself. I would imagine Dash has tried to sue Paramount without success. Afterall, no one can defeat Jason. All this aside, Gillette is the nicest man on earth. A constant smile and a willingness to tell you as much as his knowledge will allow.

The picture to the left (which I swiped from CAMPCRYSTALLAKE.COM) is a pic of the REAL Jason from Friday 2.

Rumor has it, Steven Dash is quiet angry about the whole ordeal of only being credited as 'Jason's Stunt Double'. It's a fun story among message boards about how Dash, (at a convention that also hired Gillette for appearances,) was giving Gillette a bad rep about how he couldn't even do any of the stunts that were called for in the script in Friday the 13th part 2. It's said that Gillette just shrugged off the incident and stated something comical about the situation.

2006-12-23T14:44:00.000-05:00

Any film fan knows that throughout the late seventies and eighties, the slasher craze set forth to overtake governments and ransack young minds. During this time, slasher films flooded the film pool - blood, tits, and gore was the order of the day, starting a trend that would burn like a beacon for six years, before slowly fizzing out to burnt embers.

In this period, a number of lesser known slasher films escaped through the sewers of celluloid. Whether by shoddy distribution or marketing campaigns, films like 'The Burning', 'Just Before Dawn', and 'The Final Terror ' slipped through the cracks.

'The Final Terror' stands alone in the sub-genre - not because it strays away from clichéd formulas, but because of the number of survivors at the end of the film. Usually, we have a group of young people being stalked by some unknown specter, stealthy and brutal. We usually have one surviving heroine at the end, who defeats the proverbial monster by will and grit. 'The 'Final Terror' isn't much different than a lot of cookie cutter slasher movies, except for the fact that there at least five survivors at the end.

Our moss covered killer manages to snuff at least two of our group of forest rangers while doing the nasty. Upon finally realizing they're being stalked and slashed, the remaining (rather large) crew ban together taking things into their own hands. They do exactly as they should - being logical and examining other possible scenarios. They don't split up and get hammered one by one while one goes for help and the other 'stays put'.

While being somewhat cheesy - the way the survivors paint up their faces and use twigs and leaves as camouflage, is kind of comical, but, in all reality, was the smart thing to do.
It almost turns into some minimalist army film - an ex Viet Nam squad leader ushering commands to our surviving troops. Zorich is a no holds barred woodsman. He's right at home in the woods - communing with nature and ingesting forest primeval amongst wild psychedelic mushrooms and marijuana.

Again, spawning from Friday the 13th, we have a film about a boy with a mother complex. Egger is a disgruntled bus driver taking a load of forest rangers into the woods. From the get-go, Egger has problems. He's edgy and grumpy, and tries to sway Mark from allowing their trip into the woods, (which by all means was a chance for him to get some free time in the woods with his girl.) Nothing that's deserving of the fates they got.

Shift: Fade from white ....

Anyway, this post isn't a base for a review, but for one of the actors in the film. It's pretty much well known what happened to the rest of the actors, but what ever happened to John Friedrich? (Zorich)

Playing the army minded woodsman in 'The Final Terror', Friedrich also had some other memorable roles in such films as 'The Boy in the Plastic Bubble', and 'Joey' from the adapted cinematic 'masterpiece', 'The Wanderers'.

'The Final Terror' is Johns last noted movie/tv appearance. After this, he simply just seems to disappear. There's been rumors of Friedrich becoming a surgeon. There's talk of him becoming co-star Ken Wahl's live-in gardener. There's rumors of Friedrich dying of AIDS - A young star having so much going for him, then, capooey! But does this constitute a basis for AIDS?

My wife also thinks the AIDS theory is the most logical, which, in terms, actually is. But, I'd like to think positive and go with the doctor theory. Hell, even the gardener theory is better than an AIDS related death.

Stepping back into the world of 'The Final Terror' for a second; John Friedrich portrayed a man with some hidden issues. A marijuana dependent being, who definitely carried some baggage home with him from the jungles of Viet Nam. He's a loner - sitting alone in the back of the bus while the rest of the crew makes asses of themselves up front singing a cheesy rendition of 'Three Blind Mice' - which incidently was an alternate title for 'The Final Terror'

He taunts the bus driver in a confrontational spat on the way to their destination - giving prelude that Egger comes from an old mental institution by making him the brunt of a joke in front of everyone. Deservedly so, leaning on the opening sequence of the movie. He's a take charge kind of guy, and gave a lot of presence to the film. He holds no qualms on demeaning women , and saying what's on his usually ill tempered mind.

The rest of the crew in the film are fodder. In a nutshell, 'The Final Terror' is a good, if not depressing film that will leave you in a 'certain' mood for the rest of the day. Zorich's untimely death is kind of funny, considering his army background and his knowledge of homemade booby traps. A simple push from a large log and he breaks his neck. Not a very glorious death, but the film itself isn't very glorious either. More of a gritty outlook on survival, doused with the ever so evident truth of death and how it can weave itself among us through people and places we take for granted.

Now, I'm through with 'The Final Terror' for a second, although, future posts on the subject are merely incidental. So, again, what happened to that John Friedrich?

Horror Holidays

2006-12-23T12:31:00.000-05:00

Two more days until, Black Christmas.

I received the critical mass re-issue through the mail almost three weeks ago. It came out of the blue. I was already having a bad day, but this little snail mail surprise was certainly a welcomed event. Not to actually grade the dvd on merits and detractions, but the picture quality surprised me. Not in a good way, however. The quality certainly wasn't bad - especially for a film released in 1974. It was free of most of those tiny black squibbles and other grainy elements, but its was obvious that not much time was spent on repairing those saturated colors.

Now, the re-release isn't a bad one. Critical Mass has released a version of this before - if not two. I think the only thing that's changed since then are the updated interviews and commentaries. There were a few of the stars that made it back for rehashes, with different templates to go by - Hussey, and a deranged Margot Kidder. We are also treated to a narrative by easygoing police captain, John Saxon, but I think the most welcomed returns had to be that of 'Sergeant Nash' ( Doug McGrath) and 'Clair Harrison (Lynne Griffin ).'

Both stars have held up pretty well over the years, although, Griffen looks like an eccentric old lady - Her hair tied in what looks to be a bun. She definitely has lost those shy-girl charms over the years, but her input on the dvd was a welcomed gesture.

I wouldn't swear on it, but I'd say that for a third release (maybe), and especially a third release so close to the second one, this was to cash in on the remake of Black Christmas, due out, well, on Christmas. I don't know how black it will be on Christmas, but I'll probably have to wait and see it after the new year. As much as I hate remakes, (especially remakes of true classics) I'll still see it.

I know the target audience these days is the same as a film of its ilk in the 70's and 80's - Mostly tweenagers (the years in between ), but the attention span has certainly dwindled away to something of non-existence. The 1974's classic outline would really make way for viewings better suited to 40 year olds, so, the impact and sheer perverseness of the movie has lost steam since all the violence we see even on the small screen these days. Like 80% of teenie-kill films in the 80's, Black Christmas '74 follows a certain pattern the film itself started.

Halloween became most popular for doing it, but BC '74 certainly inspired it. It's well known that in the mix somewhere, directors Bob Clark, and, Halloween's John Carpenter, collaborated on a few ideas which eventually lead to what we've gotten. Black Christmas is also one of the first movies to exploit a holiday theme. Silent Night Bloody Night also did this in the same year. It's a very disturbing film in its own right.

I read somewhere that religious groups are trying to stop the film from being released on Christmas. (The remake) This makes me laugh, not because I'm against Christians and what they stand for, I'm not, but for the fact that these same religious groups are promoting one of the most pagan characters in history...Santa Clause

Anyway, whether or not Black Christmas 2006 will even tip the firm iceberg of Black Christmas 1974 doesn't even hold a light to itself. It's completely irrelevant since the film itself is basically just wearing the same jump suit as Black Christmas, but has a completely different person wearing it.

It's also suffice to say that the the internet has helped/hurt the classic horror film. The internet allows thousands of films every year to be released (and some to have theatrical runs) - films we would have never gotten if not for it. This is a double edged sword, because with the internet popularity of horror and other review sites, remakes, wanna-be filmmakers , and every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a camera is making films. Bad films.

I have an online friend who lives in the United Kingdom. They have already gotten to see Black Christmas 2006 (Which has a completely different ending than the US version) and he didn't seem dissatisfied with it - and he's the king of the slasher film. I'm sure he went in not expecting too much, and ultimately wasn't disappointed.

So, we'll have to see, but until then, I'm going to be giving Black Christmas '74 a run in the privacy of my own home - me and the wife.